March 27, 2019, 08:08:38 AM


Author Topic: The hilarious things students say to you....  (Read 294699 times)

Offline sheikhnguyen

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #420 on: February 04, 2012, 01:53:11 PM »
University oral exam.

Me: Can you tell me about your friends?

Student: Yes, my friend *&^%$ has a lot of money, he is a son of a rich.

Cue me shoving a pen into my mouth to control myself.

Another University oral exam:

Me: Can you tell me about your parents?

Student: My Father is a teacher and my Mother is a rectum of a University.

Couldn't control myself on this one I'm afraid and let out a single hoot of laughter.
Nullius in Verba

Offline Driver 8

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #421 on: February 06, 2012, 09:56:13 AM »
I asked one of my students what he thought might happen with Kim  Jong Eun  in charge of North Korea now.  All he said was, "Kim  Jong Eun is pig." :laugh:

Offline Amandada6262000

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #422 on: February 06, 2012, 10:11:36 AM »
One of my second grade (middle school) boys told me it's his parents' anniversary. I asked him "What will you buy for them?" His answer: "Hite."

Offline sunshinefiasco

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #423 on: February 06, 2012, 03:16:45 PM »
Kid points at me with his thumb up in the "Buddy Jesus" pose: Teachaaa, You raise me up.

Offline matthewm12

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #424 on: February 09, 2012, 09:02:45 AM »
Student who really needs to go to the bathroom but can't quite remember how to ask:

Teacher!  I am a toilet!

My student walked up to me and acted out the action of peeing (closed eyes and sighing).

Offline DWAEDGIMORIGUKBAP

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #425 on: February 09, 2012, 02:17:51 PM »
After 3 monhs teaching them and then having a Korean teacher start split teaching the class (see my 'I'm sick of it thread' for more details)

"Teacher, you made we do very good work and our parents liked that.  You are good teacher.  But ______ teacher lets we do more funny.  So now we like him.  You are wangta teacher."

Jeez, thanks.


Offline k.canada

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #426 on: February 22, 2012, 09:52:33 PM »
I was teaching some beginners how to sing a song, line by line. The song was "If you're happy and you know it". What happened next reminded me the importance of pronunciation and the difference between the Korean and English language.

T: Repeat after me. If you're happy and you know it clap your hands.

S: If you're happy and you know it crap your hands.


 :o

Offline Driver 8

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #427 on: February 23, 2012, 08:37:38 AM »
I was teaching some beginners how to sing a song, line by line. The song was "If you're happy and you know it". What happened next reminded me the importance of pronunciation and the difference between the Korean and English language.

T: Repeat after me. If you're happy and you know it clap your hands.

S: If you're happy and you know it crap your hands.


 :o

Ha ha Ha.  Yeah well, mispronouncing the L and R's is always going to be an issue for students in almost any Asian country, and it's probably one of the hardest one's to eradicate, or teach to, as it's an accent issue.  Man!  I wouldn't even bother.  It's too low on the priority list.  Also, since the s sound and I sound make the "sh" sound in Korean,  this instruction was given to me more than once this year:

"Teachah, Sh-t."

Offline sambalina

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #428 on: February 23, 2012, 10:35:48 AM »
While doing Leo's 'Crazy inventions' lesson.
Me: What are some other crazy inventions?
Sts: *long silence*...
Girl: (very proud of her contribution) "Smoking!".

So true, kid :)

Offline jisun

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #429 on: February 23, 2012, 12:00:42 PM »
Quote
Also, since the s sound and I sound make the "sh" sound in Korean,  this instruction was given to me more than once this year:

"Teachah, Sh-t."

The kids were behaving a little wildly one day when one of my boys shouted at the top of his voice, "EVERYBODY TAKE A SH-T!!" The funniest part was that he looked so proud of himself for helping to re-establish calm (and it worked).

Offline Driver 8

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #430 on: February 23, 2012, 12:28:35 PM »
Quote
Also, since the s sound and I sound make the "sh" sound in Korean,  this instruction was given to me more than once this year:

"Teachah, Sh-t."

The kids were behaving a little wildly one day when one of my boys shouted at the top of his voice, "EVERYBODY TAKE A SH-T!!" The funniest part was that he looked so proud of himself for helping to re-establish calm (and it worked).

Makes sense.  It usually calms me down. :laugh:

Offline terivinix

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #431 on: February 24, 2012, 04:32:08 PM »
Several years ago I selected a bunch of public domain photos from the Internet for a photo description page on a website I worked for.

Students type in their captions and I proofread them. One of the photos was selected before I knew who Mitt Romney was.



Anyway, it just popped up in the rotation recently, and a student wrote this:

Quote
the spy

the man kill the three man and tow woman. he is trash... he is
cragy!!!!!! he is die the police officer

So I'm guessing they either know nothing about US politics, or more than we think.

Offline notanartist

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #432 on: February 29, 2012, 10:39:42 AM »
In a lesson about animals with a 4th grader, I asked the girl what mice eat.  She couldn't think of anything, so I asked her what Mickey Mouse eats.  She thought for a minute, then yelled "Mickey Mouse eats Minnie Mouse!" and cracked up.

I almost responded, "No, I mean what does Mickey eat for food?" before I stopped myself.

Offline Chalkie

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #433 on: March 04, 2012, 11:15:49 AM »
Bumped into some of my grade 4 elementary students in town the other day.

Following conversation..

Student 1: Oh teacher, I like you, I love you very much!

Teacher: Um, well, thankyou.

Student 2: (Points at student 1) Teacher, he is gay, yes, very gay.

Teacher: I don't think that you really know what gay is.

Student 2: Yes! HE is gay.

Much laughter..


Offline tatidalupe

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #434 on: March 04, 2012, 08:12:54 PM »
These are hilarious. Thank you for sharing. I can't wait to have some stories to share.

Offline makeshiftb0y

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #435 on: March 07, 2012, 09:50:45 AM »
For an ice breaker, I had students each write down a number between 1 and 10 and then told them that's how many facts they have to tell me about themselves. I pulled one students card who had written a 10.

He stands up, and proudly states, "I really love Japanese porn."

All I could think was how this is going to be a long list of hilariously awkward and inappropriate facts.

Offline S.B.

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #436 on: March 08, 2012, 07:00:20 PM »
Weirdly continuing the porn theme...

Did an activity where students had to interview each other about their hobbies, then present those hobbies to the class (E.G. Dave says "Steve likes to play video games," Steve says "Gloria loves to read books" etc)

ME: "OK, who did you talk to?"
LCO: "I talked to PJG"
ME: "OK, and what was his hobby?"
LCO (smirk): "PJG loves to watch erotic movie!"
PJG: "NO! NO NO! I DIDN'T SAY!"

Offline jackdaniels

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #437 on: March 08, 2012, 07:32:42 PM »
Suggestion on what to have for class party.

Food: Fried Kitchen and Cider!
Why: Because taste is very good and teacher pay.

 :-X

Offline travelinpantsgirl

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #438 on: March 09, 2012, 07:27:05 AM »
Suggestion on what to have for class party.

Food: Fried Kitchen and Cider!
Why: Because taste is very good and teacher pay.

 :-X

Jack, have you seen the Were Busy Beavers video on "rooms of the house"? HAHA they teach them, "he's in the kitchen - not chicken!" Ironic that your students reversed it, but that song exhibits how often the two words are confused. I love it - Fried kitchen!
Ignoranţa este adesea o boală fatal şi cretin nu poate fi vindecata.

Offline keepemgreen

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #439 on: March 09, 2012, 07:47:42 AM »
First question from any student, ever.

"Do you like iguanas?"