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Author Topic: The hilarious things students say to you....  (Read 294173 times)

Offline pinkbrit

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #340 on: June 28, 2011, 01:13:05 PM »
Its not so much what one of my students said, its what they did...

I'm sure most of you have noticed to popularity of t-shirts with English slogans on here in Korea - slogans which are either mildly offensive or completely nonsensical. It was my first week of teaching in Korea, and one of my 5th grade students (perhaps 9 years old?) came in the 'blonde slut' written across her t-shirt. Of course she was oblivious to the meaning, and had NO idea why I spent the entire day looking at her and trying not to snigger.

Offline travelinpantsgirl

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #341 on: June 28, 2011, 01:53:48 PM »
Its not so much what one of my students said, its what they did...

I'm sure most of you have noticed to popularity of t-shirts with English slogans on here in Korea - slogans which are either mildly offensive or completely nonsensical. It was my first week of teaching in Korea, and one of my 5th grade students (perhaps 9 years old?) came in the 'blonde slut' written across her t-shirt. Of course she was oblivious to the meaning, and had NO idea why I spent the entire day looking at her and trying not to snigger.

If you like that then you'll like this thread:
http://waygook.org/index.php/topic,5595.0.html
Ignoranţa este adesea o boală fatal şi cretin nu poate fi vindecata.

Offline mcfearless999

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #342 on: June 28, 2011, 03:06:54 PM »
A while ago at my last hagwon I assigned an essay topic to my advanced elementary students.

One student wrote:
I want to live in a Canada. I want to live in and igloo and eat the fur seal.

All I know is the kid must have been born there to have such an accurate idea of Canadian life.

Offline senel

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #343 on: June 30, 2011, 01:43:28 PM »
I was walking home from school and ran into two of my MS male students.

Me: Hey boys! Why aren't you at home?
Student A: (something in Korean) PC Bang.
Me: Aaaa okay.
Student B: Teacher, you have boyfriend?
Me: What? No, I've only been here for two months.
Student B: Aaaa, okay.
Student A: (dancing around) Susan is my girlfriend, Susan is my girlfriend...

Few weeks later I was on my way to the English office when I greeted two other boys on the stairs. One boy had the other boy by the index finger and was holding on for dear life.
Me: Is his finger your prisoner?
Student A (victim): Teacher, look what he do.
Me: Yes, he's holding your finger prisoner.
Student B (holding the finger): Teacher he want to marry me.
Student A: no, no, no, no!
Student B: Yes, you want to marry me!

Whenever I put an attractive western woman in a ppt, at least one student will point out that: "teacher...girl pic...you...resemble!". The last one had dark hair and light eyes, I have light hair and dark eyes. I'm always so flattered but I don't give candy to liars  :P

Also, my school gives stamps for participation, homework, group work, etc. and the top 20% gets a perfect score so my students literally beg for me to let them answer. They will shout things like "Teacher, I love you", "Teacher, you are soooooo 'bootiful'", "please give me a chance", "me, me, me" and my favorite..."look at my hand, just look at my beautiful hand!"  :laugh:

Offline xMooshie

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #344 on: June 30, 2011, 09:38:45 PM »
So, here's my crazy cute story <3.

Background info: I was sad on this particular day due to some relationship issues plus pmsing plus lack of sleep, etc. etc. All in all, I hated the world and men especially. I'm like a blank piece of paper ^^;; my emotions shows on my face. Even if I try to hide it, it's people can still detect that somethings up. After concluding my second grade class, one of the pretty-bad-boys-student of mine stayed behind to talk to me. He ended up giving me advice on life.

Taegyu: Saem, are you sad?
Me: Do I look sad?
Taegyu: Yes. Boyfriend?
Me: No, no. Just sick.
Taegyu: [all this in Korean] My friend told me that the things you look in for a girl is niceness, kindness, cooking skills, cleaning skills, beauty, sexy, nice body, etc etc. Saem, you have all these things. Don't be sad.
Me: [stunned and amused] How do you know? You're only seven years old.
Taegyu: I know Teacher. I know. I'm a man too.
Me: Men are bad people.
Taegyu: ALL MEN ARE BAD TEACHER. I'm bad too.
Me: You're bad?
Taegyu: Yes, I broke up with my girlfriend because she got ugly and fat.
Me: Wow, that's really bad! That's not nice.
Taegyu: I'm a bad guy Saem.

I proceeded to laugh my bottom off. :) I was suspicious of this 2nd grader trying to hit on me, but instead he told me something useful. Of course, two minutes later he asked for my cellphone to play games. However, for the 'deep' conversation we had, I felt he was very sincere and mature beyond his years. He already knew something I didn't know until this age. LOL <3
All good things come to an end. :)

Offline jadesk

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #345 on: July 03, 2011, 04:07:44 PM »
One of my best was a kiddo thought they spoke Germanses in Germany. I died laughing for a few minutes!

Offline tia teacher

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #346 on: July 04, 2011, 11:09:31 AM »
Student: Teacher, give me candy!
Me: Why should I give you candy?
Student: Because I pretty girl, I will sex you!

Bonus: All-boys middle school.

HAHAAHAHAHA. LOVE IT.  ;D

Offline tia teacher

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #347 on: July 04, 2011, 01:23:08 PM »
Grade: 6th
Lesson: My father is a pilot.

Teaching a lesson out of the book- the students are supposed to look at the pictures and fill in the blanks.
(picture of a man in a police uniform and a woman with a chef's hat) 
sentence: my father is a ____ and my mother is a ______.

student: what? why?
me: what? look at the picture. what is he?
student: he is a police officer
me: good. what is she?
student: she is a chef
me: okay, write your answers in the blank
student: what? teacher, noooo!
me: why not?
student: this is not my family! he is not my father and she is not my mother!
in my head: wtf x___x

Then......
Fill in the blank with your own answers.
My father is a __________. My mother is a ____________.  I want to be a ________________.
Five students stood out in particular.

Student 1: I want to be an alien.
Student 2: I want to be a mother. (this is a boy)
Student 3: I want to be a killer.
Student 4: I want to be a hamburger.
Student 5: I want to be a  (something in Korean)
Me: a what?
Student 5: a man. he live on street and do nothing all day.
Me: oh, you mean a bum.
Student 5: I want to be a bum.
Me: Good luck to you all   :-X

Offline jisun

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #348 on: July 04, 2011, 01:57:53 PM »
6th grade: I show the lesson 8 video with Peter (a black boy) and Jinho (an Asian boy).

Me: Who are they?
Student 1: Black and White!
Student 2: No, teacher no!! They are Black and Yellow!!

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Offline SBracken

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #349 on: July 05, 2011, 01:25:31 PM »
"Arigatou gozaimasu."

*facepalm*

Offline tia teacher

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #350 on: July 07, 2011, 09:03:14 AM »
Student (English name Brian): Teacher, the desk smells like pizza.
Me: Why don't you lick it.
Brian: Ladies first.

got me.

LOVE IT.  ;D

Offline makeshiftb0y

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #351 on: July 07, 2011, 11:27:08 AM »
Did the dating lesson that someone posted on here. We discussed what Lady Gaga would put on her dating profile, and for "ideal partner" one student said this, and nearly every other class said something similar to this:

"Any man. All men. She does not care."


In a different lesson, in which I included a picture of a polar bear on one of the slides:

Me: What kind of animal is this?
Students: Bear.
Me: What kind of bear is it?
...
Student: (shouting) Coca-Cola Bear!!!

Offline tia teacher

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #352 on: July 07, 2011, 01:16:19 PM »
6th grade: I show the lesson 8 video with Peter (a black boy) and Jinho (an Asian boy).

Me: Who are they?
Student 1: Black and White!
Student 2: No, teacher no!! They are Black and Yellow!!

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

every time my students see peter they say "obama's son"  :-X

Offline lindsaydp1

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #353 on: July 07, 2011, 02:04:34 PM »
Did the dating lesson that someone posted on here. We discussed what Lady Gaga would put on her dating profile, and for "ideal partner" one student said this, and nearly every other class said something similar to this:

"Any man. All men. She does not care."

You should have blown their minds by telling then that she's bi (really, not in a fake, kissing on award shows kind of way), so 'men and women' would have been a better answer:)

Offline theTazz

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #354 on: July 08, 2011, 10:48:22 AM »
In my third grade class I gave them a worksheet to do (wordsearch and five fill-in-the-word questions). They hadn't all finished by the end of class so I asked them to write their names on and hand them in (knowing perfectly well otherwise I'd never see them again). One little boy, who was an absolute demon on Monday, clearly in an attempt to please me, ran to my PC to use the keyboard to try write his name in English. The result?

RKDEHDGUS.

Aw! Haha :)

Offline SBracken

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #355 on: July 08, 2011, 12:07:37 PM »
In my third grade class I gave them a worksheet to do (wordsearch and five fill-in-the-word questions). They hadn't all finished by the end of class so I asked them to write their names on and hand them in (knowing perfectly well otherwise I'd never see them again). One little boy, who was an absolute demon on Monday, clearly in an attempt to please me, ran to my PC to use the keyboard to try write his name in English. The result?

RKDEHDGUS.

Aw! Haha :)

Well, if you type the same letters in hangul, it would be 강동현. looks like it could be a name to me :)

Offline flasyb

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #356 on: July 08, 2011, 12:16:29 PM »
In my third grade class I gave them a worksheet to do (wordsearch and five fill-in-the-word questions). They hadn't all finished by the end of class so I asked them to write their names on and hand them in (knowing perfectly well otherwise I'd never see them again). One little boy, who was an absolute demon on Monday, clearly in an attempt to please me, ran to my PC to use the keyboard to try write his name in English. The result?

RKDEHDGUS.

Aw! Haha :)

Well, if you type the same letters in hangul, it would be 강동현. looks like it could be a name to me :)

Good spot!
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.

We are not "guests" in Korea. Korea didn't invite us over for Pimms in the garden. We are paid employees.

Offline SimonWhite

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #357 on: July 12, 2011, 02:55:38 PM »
When asked during an idioms lesson,

"What does, "You're as blind as a bat." mean?"

Student: "You have an eye disability."

Offline rjesu007

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #358 on: July 18, 2011, 09:49:39 PM »
As a 24 year old brown male working in an all girl's middle school in Busan, this was just great.

Girl 1 and 2: OMG! You are so handsome!
Me: Um... thanks.
Girl 1: You look like Jacob from Twilight!!
Girl 2: Oh and your voice sounds like Justin Bieber!!
Me: Okay, girls... thanks for the compliments... I think...

Girl 3: Justin! Me wife!
Girl 4: Me girlfriend!
Me: That's interesting... *look of confusion and laughter*
Me: So what do you think of Selena Gomez
Girls 3 and 4: NO! She ugly! UGLY!!!!!
All 4 girls: *giggle* Bye teacher *giggles more*

Me (thinking to self): This is only the 1st day of teaching @_@
~ Ruban

Offline baeliat

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #359 on: July 19, 2011, 10:38:24 PM »
*Student pokes my gut and giggles*
Student: Teacher, how you say this? *continues poking*
Me: Oh this? Abs.
Student: Hmm, you have nice abs.
Me (grinning): Yes, yes I do.