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Author Topic: The hilarious things students say to you....  (Read 294194 times)

Offline thankQ

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #320 on: June 24, 2011, 12:49:17 PM »
"I eat black fest everyday at 8 o'clock" (they actually wrote this, didn't say it but I still laughed really hard)

"I do my mom yesterday" (Should have been I helped my mom yesterday) Kids these days...

Offline 501reasons

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #321 on: June 24, 2011, 01:08:56 PM »
 Middle School 2nd graders

M: How are you today?
Ss: Nothing special!
(he was sooo proud of his answer!)

Doing a lesson on occupations
M: Who works in a hospital?
Ss: Doctor!
M: What does a doctor do?
Boy Student: NURSE!
M: OK...what else does he do?



Offline CA-SK

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #322 on: June 24, 2011, 01:11:13 PM »
Student writing on the board: "I will go in my grandpa this summer."
Supposed to be, "I will go visit my grandpa in Paris in this summer."  ???

Offline ktkates87

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #323 on: June 24, 2011, 01:30:01 PM »
While trying to teach the kids the whole "see you later alligator" "in a while crocodile" thing......

Me: See you later alligator!
Student: See you later dragon!

We're doing animals for theme lesson this month. While walking down the hall, i let the kids pretend their an animal (butterfly, bird, elephant, etc)

Me: Okay captain, what animal should we be?
*Our school lunch lady crosses us as we're walking down the hall*
Captain: Let's be an ajumma! 

Offline sarahcanavese

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #324 on: June 24, 2011, 02:13:13 PM »
I have a pretty advanced 6th grade class. So, during a lesson, I had them make up a script for "May I help you?" or whatever that lesson was. One went like this:

Girl: May I help you?
Boy: How much is this pencil?
Girl: It is $10.
Boy: No, it's too expensive. I want discount.
Girl: OK. $1.
Boy: I'll take it. Here you are.
Girl: Here's your change...
Boy: ONE....TWO...EIGHT.... WHERE'S MY DOLLAR WOMAN!
Girl: GO AWAY!

~~~~~~~
Then today in 5th grade we are learning to describe people.
I show a picture to the class and one student is facing away from the photo. The kiddies have to describe what it is they see.
PICTURE: Rain
Student 1: He is very very handsome!
Student 2: HE IS WEATHER!

Student Guessing: BI BI BI!

Student 2: IN ENGLISHHHEEE!

Student Guessing: RAIN RAIN RAIN!

Offline jaspar

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #325 on: June 24, 2011, 02:36:00 PM »
Today with my grade 1 students:

Me: What do you do with your grandparents?

Every hand shoots up.

Me: Student 1?
Student 1: Wednesday!!
Me: No. Student 2?
Student 2: Priday?
Me: No.
Student 3: OOO! OOO! MEEEE!
Me: Ok, Student 3?
Student 3: WEDNESDAY!!!


Offline cepctheworld

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #326 on: June 24, 2011, 03:10:27 PM »
Today four of my middle school boys are walking ahead of me in the hall.  One proud boy and his cronies, one on each arm.  The lackey in the back, drops back and says to me...

Student 1: Teacher, he has a big one.
Me: what?
Student 1: He has most big one. 
Me: what? 
Student 1: Penis.
Me: What? (because I am literally thinking he is mispronouncing a different word.)
Student 1: Penis.  You know, teacher?
Me: what?
Students 2: Penis real big.  (and points to his friend)
Me: What are you talking about?  Wait.... what are you saying? (as I start to figure it out) 
Student 1: Penis! (raising his voice) You know?
Student 2: Penis 12 cm, teacher!  Big. 
Student 1: Best in class. 
12 cm student nods his head confidently.

They aren't even the oldest students... they are the youngest. 
I just had to laugh.  This is life in an all boys Middle School in Korea.

Offline mountaingirl

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #327 on: June 24, 2011, 06:25:08 PM »
Me: what will you do this weekend?
Student: Teacher I am going to watch adult movies.

I hope he meant movies with bad language and blood.

Offline Morticae

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #328 on: June 24, 2011, 07:05:51 PM »
Just got this precious gem in. I work at an all boys middle school. The student body president sent this text message to me:

"You are really good teacher and my best friend!!!"

Haha, cute. He'll be asking for candy on Monday I bet.

Offline rookiewaygook

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #329 on: June 25, 2011, 09:14:59 AM »
"Teacher he's gain!," Student points to his partner.
"He likes games?"
"No, he IS gain!."
"He gained weight?" (Phrase we learned the week before)
"Awwshhh, men love men!"
"Ooh, GAY!"

The whole class explodes and students start pointing at different students, "You're Gay!! HAHAHA"

"Gay is okay!" I put my thumbs up.
"No, teacher, no!!!" they put their thumbs down.

Offline SBracken

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #330 on: June 27, 2011, 01:11:57 PM »
There's a 3rd grade girl in my MS with a hearing problem so her English is very, very bad.  She makes me want to go back to school so I can learn to help her better.
   Not to hijack this thread- but I suggest you do a search on this site for special needs students. There are discussions about activities you could do with her, like teaching the alphbet in sign language.. Doing this in addtion to speaking will really help. I had a girl like this last year. I only wish I'd thought of doing ASL with her sooner.

ditto not to hijack, just be careful with ASL letters- some of the hand signs may be offensive gestures. I once learned this the hard way in nicaragua... I don't know about Korea though.

Offline taingray

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #331 on: June 27, 2011, 01:55:08 PM »
I don't remember why this conversation with a third grade middle school girl happened:

S: Oh she is dirty, very very... dirty girl! [about another student]
Me: No!  Why?
S: She is... [thinking] She is erotic!  She is very sexual!
Me: Where do you learn these words?   :P

Offline hildydoo

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #332 on: June 27, 2011, 02:18:20 PM »
3rd gr elementary learning about likes/dislikes:

*picture of chocolate*
Me: Laura Teacher LOVES chocolate!
Fluent kid: That's why she's fat!
Me: T_T

Today during a game:
*team one stole points from team 2*
S stands up: "You DIE?!? *points* You, you, you die!!"

Man I love my kids! <3

Offline bencrow

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #333 on: June 27, 2011, 02:42:09 PM »
This just happened:

The school bell rings, a couple seconds later I hear singing down the hall: "Hello, hello, good-bye, good-bye"

Three 2nd grade middle school girls open the door of my English Zone/Classroom while singing in unison:

"Hello, hello, good-bye, good-bye" (Using call and response and harmony.)

"Hello, hello 쿠프, good-bye, good-bye 쿠프" (My last name, Konglished)

Me: Wow! That was really great! (It sounded pretty good I thought.)
1 student: Oh, thank you! It is Korean music?

Me: Yes, I think so, I thought it was really good.
1 student: Ohhh, we are very shy....

Then they proceed to play three person rock paper scissors, somehow using it to decide who will say hello and then who will respond with good-bye...

Then they sing the same song as they leave in unison. 

Offline suisse

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #334 on: June 27, 2011, 02:42:39 PM »

I taught at a kindergarten in Gwangju back in 2009. On the white board, the names of the afternoon after-school elem students are lamenated. I was checking the roll sheet of my kindy class, and down the back of the room, quietly, I could just hear;

"Ni....Niii.....Nig.....Niggg.....*****"

I looked up and spotted the boy who was saying it. Obviously he didn't understand why I frantically asked him what he said. He pointed to the whiteboard. The name "NIGEL" was lamenated.

Bloody "r" and "l" in the this language.

--------------

In the same school, I was killing the last 10 mins of class by getting the students to spell animals on the whiteboard that they learnt about in the previous lessons. One student was given 'goose' to spell. He immediately ran into the 'goo' part, and was then visibly confused. I kept emphasing the 'se' sound to come next. For whatever reason, he wrtoe 'k', spelling 'gook' and promptly sat down, convinced he had done a good job.

------------

I wrote this on another thread before. After the kindy job, I went to a shite hagwon. The kids were great, and one 5th grade girl in particular came out with an sbsolute gem one day. She was far from impressed by my artwork on the board, so she replied with "you are no Picasso, but you're face is one"

Offline Kaypea

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #335 on: June 27, 2011, 03:01:06 PM »
"Teacher he's gain!," Student points to his partner.
"He likes games?"
"No, he IS gain!."
"He gained weight?" (Phrase we learned the week before)
"Awwshhh, men love men!"
"Ooh, GAY!"

The whole class explodes and students start pointing at different students, "You're Gay!! HAHAHA"

"Gay is okay!" I put my thumbs up.
"No, teacher, no!!!" they put their thumbs down.

Hmm one morning before class, a 2nd year middle school boy kept repeating the phrase, "You are a vampire and you are gay!" to pretty much all of his friends.  I thought it was hilarious because the level of English was pretty high (for my school), but it was such a hilariously... non-native speaker type of phrasing.  "You're a gay vampire" would be more natural sounding.

Offline manonthemoon

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #336 on: June 27, 2011, 03:25:51 PM »
i used to think that songs really helped students to learn English.

One of my 'stranger' boy students has learnt some 'strange' English songs.

Today he walked into class singing
' you spin my head right round, right round' Which is ok. until he followed it up with.
' I wanna take you to a gay bar, I'm gonna take you to a gay bar' (song by electric six)
 
I don't even know how he knows this song! Maybe its a noraebang favorite of his!

Offline jrwhite82

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #337 on: June 27, 2011, 03:26:06 PM »
Student:  Teacher, Guess what?

Me:  What?

Student:  You're fat and I'm SLIME!

Me:  Bwa ha ha ha ha!

Offline jayjayen

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #338 on: June 27, 2011, 03:30:18 PM »
Me: What do you call a person with a white father and black mother? (Referring to Obama)
Student: Hybrid.

Offline makeshiftb0y

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #339 on: June 28, 2011, 07:31:26 AM »
After introducing myself to a low-level high school class last semester, I gave them some time ask me questions. Most asked things like my age and such, but one student wanted answers to some other types of questions:

Teacher, in America, if man has long hair, he gay? Teacher, in America, if man wear tight pants, he gay? Teacher, in America, if man has rainbow umbrella, he gay?