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Author Topic: The hilarious things students say to you....  (Read 294703 times)

Offline simbadger

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #120 on: April 29, 2011, 03:16:57 PM »
Student: Gandhi raises war elephants twice a year.

Offline thdbqnd

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #121 on: April 29, 2011, 03:46:14 PM »
Overheard a high school girl say to a male (foreign) coworker who she thought was handsome, "Teacher - my eyes are happy!"

Less cute:
When I asked a middle school student where he would go if he had a time machine, he said to Hiroshima in 1945, to see Japan get nuked.

On the bright side, his mom, who was a university prof, took her students to Japan a few months later and brought him along. When he came back he was wearing a good luck charm (the kind you buy at temples there), so he must not have hated it.

Offline SBracken

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #122 on: May 02, 2011, 09:35:21 AM »
during a warm-up where I give the class a letter, and students need to offer words that begin with the letter. A higher-level student raised his hand, and very solemnly said (what sounded like) "shadf-pier".

me: sorry, what?

student 1: shadf-pier *nods*

me: 'shadf-pier'? *trying desperately to think of a real word that sounds like 'shadf-pier'

student 1: yes.

me: uhhh.....

student 2: teacha!! SHADFPIER!! FRIEND OF DIAMOND!!

me: oohhhhh! 'sapphire'!


honestly, I was nearly proud to tears for him for explaining in english, so efficiently what his buddy was going for.

Offline thatguywho45

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #123 on: May 02, 2011, 09:46:06 AM »
Teacher

what

you marry

no

you have girl friend
no

you have baby
no

why
Im Ugly

I agree
"you cheeky bastard"

Offline Braveanglo

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #124 on: May 02, 2011, 09:52:47 AM »
At an all boys high school just last week...

Teacher: Ok, what is marriage?

Student: Teacher! Marriage is man + woman = HEHEHEHEHEHE!!! *while tapping his fingers together and grinning pervertedly*

Offline rilakkuma

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #125 on: May 02, 2011, 10:23:00 AM »
Student: Teacher! Candy! *kneeling on the floor, bouth hands outstretched*

Teacher must give a candy to such a suppliant student. :)

Offline gifappeltjie

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #126 on: May 02, 2011, 10:25:44 AM »
My middle school grade 3 students had to write a 100 word paragraph on racism. Needless to say, some very interesting things came up....My students are pretty low level. These were the funniest...

1. African Americans were born tanned.
2. White people neglect negroes.
3. Black african's ancestars were african. They may come to America with no tools. However, they made their descant. Therefore, black people aren't stupid.

Offline Swillow

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #127 on: May 02, 2011, 10:26:19 AM »
Partner A 'Can i help you find anything?'
Partner B 'Yes i'm looking for a new TV. Can i help you find anything?'
Partner A 'Yes, i'm looking for a gay bar'

Partner A 'Do you have a Teddy bear?'
Partner B 'Yes, but it's old'
Partner A 'Do you have a large mansion?'
Partner B 'No, but i want one'
Partner A 'Do you have a brain?'

Offline erth0301

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #128 on: May 02, 2011, 11:11:06 AM »
I always hear: "shit down" when my students are trying to say "sit down".
I giggle a little inside every time. >.<

Offline ramackenzie

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #129 on: May 02, 2011, 12:54:00 PM »
Me(showing them a picture of an Australian $5 bill): What country is this money from?
Grade 6 boy: HELLEN KELLER!!!!


Offline wadbumble

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #130 on: May 02, 2011, 01:32:22 PM »
My students got into a fight about who poked each other first last week. Except they didn't know poke, so instead it was, "Teacher, she do me!" "No, teacher, she do me first!" "Teacher, she do me every day! I no like!"

It went well with the time I asked what Korean children normally do on Chuseok, and instead of saying bow to grandparents, one girl told me, "Go down to grandmother!"

Offline scedlund

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #131 on: May 02, 2011, 01:39:40 PM »
I always hear: "shit down" when my students are trying to say "sit down".
I giggle a little inside every time. >.<

The 5th graders were learning "What a big city!" and they would often mispronounce "city" as "shitty." Haha

Offline Ley_Druid

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #132 on: May 02, 2011, 01:52:35 PM »
I always hear: "shit down" when my students are trying to say "sit down".
I giggle a little inside every time. >.<

The 5th graders were learning "What a big city!" and they would often mispronounce "city" as "shitty." Haha

Imagine them trying to say "City Hall"... I've had them do that before. I thought they were being dirty... "시티 홀"

Offline rth1986

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #133 on: May 02, 2011, 02:34:01 PM »
Hmm...I have one 3rd grade student who greets me by saying "Hello cow!"

Mind you, I'm a tall and thin boy with red hair. Don't think I could look further from a cow. Probably the most amusing thing I've ever been called. I have no idea what that kid is on about.

Offline Tish39

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #134 on: May 02, 2011, 02:44:03 PM »
Lesson:  My father is a pilot
Me:  What does your father do?
S: (with a straight face) My father is a terrorist.
Me: almost died of uncontrollable laughter, thinking the student has a wicked sense of humor.
KT: asks in Korean and then tells me, he wants to say my father is a teller.
Me: :-[ the lesson didn't end quick enough.

Offline nathanpollard

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #135 on: May 02, 2011, 02:44:45 PM »
I was doing signs and showed my class the no parking sign.
One kid shouted loudly "no pissing". Not sure where he learnt that from.

Offline kalib

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #136 on: May 02, 2011, 03:21:19 PM »
I was doing a lesson where students had to compare objects in their every day life. One boy student raised his hand to give his sentence and he said: "Teacher, my "john" is bigger than his "john.:" (pointing to another boy student). I sarcastically said Oh, really! and the whole class said Really teacher, really! It's bigger than his!  :laugh:

I could not really fault him on the sentence!

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #137 on: May 02, 2011, 05:28:05 PM »
Third grade told me they wanted to play Rambo.  I told them I had no clue how to play Rambo, so they grabbed a stick and started going under it, because they really meant Limbo.

Offline jangng

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #138 on: May 02, 2011, 06:13:48 PM »
During camp one year, I had a really bad student who was always up and wondering around the classroom. I told him, "Sit down, young man!" I didn't know that his name was Sang Yong. At the end of the day when he turned in his name tag, I saw that he had crossed out his name and written "Yong Man."

For the rest of camp, he introduced himself with "I am Yong Man."

Offline monofinn

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Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #139 on: May 02, 2011, 06:22:07 PM »
Christmas Card

"My nickname is horse. Do you know the reason that I was called? Because my face is longer than others. Anyways, it was glorious I met you....!! Soon X-Mas is coming. So, I'm writing this card."