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Author Topic: The hilarious things students say to you....  (Read 294593 times)

Offline ISHKABIBBLE

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #1020 on: July 04, 2017, 12:07:05 PM »
Middle School.
I was doing a class on why questions and because statements.
At the end of the class I had the students write a "Why?" question of a piece of paper. I collected them and then had them write a "Because" statement on another piece of paper.

In the end you mix up each stack and have students read the random pairs in class.

A very brave 15 year old male student wrote:
Because I love teacher my phone number - *** **** ****
« Last Edit: July 05, 2017, 09:53:47 AM by ISHKABIBBLE »
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Offline What?What?

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #1021 on: July 04, 2017, 12:34:12 PM »
The only interesting answer from speaking tests this year:

Me: I'm thinking of visiting North Korea this year.
Student: No, that's not a good idea.
Me: Why do you think so?
Student: I want you to live.

This is actually so sweet!
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
-A.A. Milne

Offline slycordinator

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #1022 on: July 05, 2017, 12:11:57 AM »
"Do you know about Hitler?"

"Teacher, what's your dream?"

One kid was enamored with the word poo so every chance he got he would be like "teacher.... poo." Always caught me off guard with that shit.
I had a kid who wanted his "English" name to be "Ddong." He especially liked spelling it out like that. After we ignored his constant outbursts about it, he stopped since he wasn't getting the attention he was looking for.

Offline palerose26

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #1023 on: July 05, 2017, 07:28:18 AM »
I work at an all girls middle school and we were working on the phrase "Which do you prefer..?" in a group activity. They had to choose between summer and winter. I had one group tell me,

"We prefer winter to summer because in summer our armpits like water park."

Since it was for participation points, that group got a few extra that day for being the most creative.

Offline kriztee

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #1024 on: July 05, 2017, 07:56:04 AM »
"Do you know about Hitler?"

"Teacher, what's your dream?"

One kid was enamored with the word poo so every chance he got he would be like "teacher.... poo." Always caught me off guard with that shit.
I had a kid who wanted his "English" name to be "Ddong." He especially liked spelling it out like that. After we ignored his constant outbursts about it, he stopped since he wasn't getting the attention he was looking for.
I think spelling it must be from something because I've had multiple kids of various grades at diff schools who could spell it without even thinking of what they were saying. Probably some show did it once so all the boys can spell one word now...

Online Chinguetti

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #1025 on: July 05, 2017, 07:57:06 AM »
The only interesting answer from speaking tests this year:

Me: I'm thinking of visiting North Korea this year.
Student: No, that's not a good idea.
Me: Why do you think so?
Student: I want you to live.

This is actually so sweet!

Yeah, I thought so, too, and my simultaneous laugh and "aww" had him very pleased with himself.

Offline yirj17

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #1026 on: August 24, 2017, 08:05:23 AM »
So there's an interview coming up for a study abroad program in America and my coTs asked me to practice with the nominated students from our schools. 

Me:  Why are you interested in this program? 
Student:  I am interested in this program... because I want to go to America for free! 

 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Kid's answer was kinda too perfect.   :laugh: 

Offline kriztee

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #1027 on: August 24, 2017, 12:08:26 PM »
I let my students pick team names. Usually it's innocent things like "Winning team" or "Best Team" but this time they wanted to be "Trump" vs. "Kim Jong-Eun"

I tried not to let them see me laugh before I told them to pick different names...

Offline What?What?

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #1028 on: August 24, 2017, 12:55:57 PM »
I let my students pick team names. Usually it's innocent things like "Winning team" or "Best Team" but this time they wanted to be "Trump" vs. "Kim Jong-Eun"

I tried not to let them see me laugh before I told them to pick different names...

I would have let them run with this.......  :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
-A.A. Milne

Offline yirj17

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #1029 on: August 24, 2017, 01:02:59 PM »
I let my students pick team names. Usually it's innocent things like "Winning team" or "Best Team" but this time they wanted to be "Trump" vs. "Kim Jong-Eun"

I tried not to let them see me laugh before I told them to pick different names...

Is it bad that I would have let them keep those names??  :laugh: :laugh:

Offline kriztee

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #1030 on: August 24, 2017, 01:04:31 PM »
I let my students pick team names. Usually it's innocent things like "Winning team" or "Best Team" but this time they wanted to be "Trump" vs. "Kim Jong-Eun"

I tried not to let them see me laugh before I told them to pick different names...

I would have let them run with this.......  :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

I was really tempted to but my CT was out of the room at the time and she's kind of uptight so I didn't want her to freak out if she came in and saw the team names XD

Last year I did let a team name themselves "Ugly Trump" but it was for after school class where I didn't have to deal with a CT possibly walking in and being horrified. The other team for that game was "Kriztee Teacher + Obama = Love" and I let them get away with that. Other times they've tried to suck up to me for extra points by calling their teams "Kriztee is beautiful" or "Iron Man is Better Than Captain America" (I'm an iron man fan :P)

Offline Mister Tim

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #1031 on: August 24, 2017, 03:17:54 PM »
Sometimes the teams in my classes will coordinate and spell a word with the letters they choose when we're playing bomb games.

By "a word" I invariably mean "S-E-X."

Up until today, it was always my 3rd grade middle school boys who did it (my school separates home room classes by gender).

Today, though, it was one of my 1st grade girls classes. I usually see it coming as soon as the first team chooses "S," but I didn't see it coming today at all until the third team called out that "X." You should have seen how red they all went - out of laughter, embarrassment, or both - when I realized what they had done.

Usually I just give a sarcastic "oh, ha ha ha, very clever" sort of reaction when the boys do it, but I was so surprised by the young girls doing it that I couldn't even keep my chuckling down.

Offline bluehermione

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #1032 on: August 25, 2017, 08:35:09 AM »
Sometimes the teams in my classes will coordinate and spell a word with the letters they choose when we're playing bomb games.

By "a word" I invariably mean "S-E-X."

Up until today, it was always my 3rd grade middle school boys who did it (my school separates home room classes by gender).

Today, though, it was one of my 1st grade girls classes. I usually see it coming as soon as the first team chooses "S," but I didn't see it coming today at all until the third team called out that "X." You should have seen how red they all went - out of laughter, embarrassment, or both - when I realized what they had done.

Usually I just give a sarcastic "oh, ha ha ha, very clever" sort of reaction when the boys do it, but I was so surprised by the young girls doing it that I couldn't even keep my chuckling down.

My 2nd grade boys love to do this too, but my classes are mixed so I don't know if the girls would do it on their own. I can't imagine my 1st grade girls doing it though! :laugh:

Offline ThereseScy

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #1033 on: August 26, 2017, 08:18:39 AM »
Male student: why are your *points to my boobs* so big
Me: Because I drink a lot of milk
Male student with a shocked face: but we drink milk for lunch, will mine also grow?
Me: smiles smugly and walks away

donovan

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #1034 on: August 26, 2017, 12:56:50 PM »
Male student: why are your *points to my boobs* so big
Me: Because I drink a lot of milk
Male student with a shocked face: but we drink milk for lunch, will mine also grow?
Me: smiles smugly and walks away

haha :laugh:

...so if I stop drinking milk, they'll go back to normal?

Offline flyingspider

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #1035 on: September 01, 2017, 03:15:27 PM »
We're writing travel plans using "going to" and one student writes, "I'm going to go to North Korea to touch Kim Jong Un's belly."

Online Enzo

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #1036 on: September 01, 2017, 03:23:21 PM »
First day back today and one of the kids drops this...

Student: Teacher... Jisu has a girlfriend.
Me:         Oh, thats nice.
Student: Her name is Holly.
Me:        Holly?
Student:Yes, Holly Sh1t.
Me: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Offline yirj17

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #1037 on: September 05, 2017, 01:26:32 PM »
Had my elem. 3rd graders make their own superheroes for a lesson.  One kid named his superhero... "Ted."

Me:  Your superhero's name is... Ted?
Kid:  Yes!  Ted! 

 :laugh: :laugh:

Another kid named his superhero "black man" and then proceeded to color him green. 

Online JNM

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #1038 on: September 05, 2017, 04:02:26 PM »
Not a student, at the McDonald's drive through this past weekend.

Clerk: *Korean greating*
Me: I would like two Bacon and Egg McMuffin, set-u, with cafe late, hot-a.
Clerk: That is IMPOSSIBLE. (In perfect English, but the tone was what one would expect at the third or fourth ask.)
...
...
...
[no details]
Clerk: Come talk to me at the window.
[drives up]
Clerk: That is IMPOSSIBLE.
Me: Is it a bacon problem or an egg problem?
Clerk: It is a bacon problem.
Me: Is 2 ham & egg McMuffins possible?
Clerk: Yes.  That is possible!


Offline Charmedhpx77

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Re: The hilarious things students say to you....
« Reply #1039 on: September 06, 2017, 02:11:23 PM »
A student who knew exactly what he was saying.

Me: What do you like to do? (asking about hobbies)
S: I like to kiss my computer.
Me: Kiss your computer?
S: Yes, like this. (demonstrates on notebook) Also, I like to kiss my notebook. My notebook is my girlfriend.
Me: (smh) I see. It's probably better that way.
S: Probably.