March 23, 2019, 04:04:02 AM


Author Topic: The hilarious things students say to you....  (Read 294291 times)

Offline AnthonyTeacher

  • Veteran
  • **
  • Posts: 81
The hilarious things students say to you....
« on: April 26, 2011, 07:45:58 AM »
Hello everyone,

I just finished my newest project, www.stuffmystudentssaid.com.  This site is a place where teachers can post the hilarious or insightful things their students say.  It's a pretty simple site, which functions much like a few of my favorite user-generated content sites such as www.notalwaysright.com.  Since it is a new site, I am still in need of content.  Please think about contributing.  It only takes a few minutes! Please post on the website.  Thanks!

Also if you see any bugs, or have any comments or suggestions, please let me know!

-Anthony
« Last Edit: April 26, 2011, 11:05:03 AM by AnthonyTeacher »

Offline Yu_Bumsuk

  • The Legend
  • *****
  • Posts: 2341
  • Gender: Male
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #1 on: April 26, 2011, 08:04:08 AM »
Yesterday I had yet another student say that her mother's hobby is housework.

Offline thektulu7

  • Adventurer
  • *
  • Posts: 66
  • Gender: Male
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #2 on: April 26, 2011, 08:43:23 AM »
It's a pretty simple site, which functions much like a few of my other user-generated content sites like www.notalwaysright.com.
-Anthony

Wait. Are you claiming to have made notalwaysright.com?

Offline NicknameHaHA

  • Adventurer
  • *
  • Posts: 25
  • Gender: Female
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #3 on: April 26, 2011, 08:44:36 AM »
I asked my students to use their imaginations and answer a series of questions. One of the questions was "why are you looking at the map." In response a student wrote: "My job is earth protect hero. I need to memorize the map." Love it!

Offline DMZ

  • Super Waygook
  • ***
  • Posts: 407
  • Gender: Female
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #4 on: April 26, 2011, 08:46:17 AM »
Test question (Social Sciences paper, not ESL): What was the contraption used to behead people during the French Revolution?

Student Answer: Yes.

Offline Danihel

  • Veteran
  • **
  • Posts: 80
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #5 on: April 26, 2011, 09:34:02 AM »
Me: OK guys, team names!

Student: **** you!

Offline Kris Kringle

  • Explorer
  • *
  • Posts: 9
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #6 on: April 26, 2011, 09:38:54 AM »
Me: Let's name some jobs, any jobs.
Student:  스티브.

Offline Jugazza

  • Waygookin
  • *
  • Posts: 21
  • Gender: Male
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #7 on: April 26, 2011, 09:41:03 AM »
From a stint in a hagwon last year. When asked to use a room name and a verb in the present continuous in a sentence Luke replied: "He's dying in the living room."

Offline Death Walrus

  • Adventurer
  • *
  • Posts: 60
  • Gender: Male
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #8 on: April 26, 2011, 09:42:08 AM »
lesson on careers...

Me: what do you want to be in the future?

Student: Killer.

Another Student: God.

(my high school students may be sociopaths)

jdb1983

  • Guest
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #9 on: April 26, 2011, 09:43:51 AM »
Teacher: What day is it today?

Student: It's sunny.

Offline hezyrd

  • Explorer
  • *
  • Posts: 8
  • Gender: Female
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #10 on: April 26, 2011, 09:51:17 AM »
I had to choose a team who sang the best during class (whoever was best got to leave class first.) I chose who I thought was singing the best and one of the losing students looked at me and screamed "YOUR CHOICE MEANS NOTHING!" and stormed out of the room. 

Offline Koala83

  • Explorer
  • *
  • Posts: 8
  • Gender: Female
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #11 on: April 26, 2011, 09:51:45 AM »
lesson on careers...

Me: what do you want to be in the future?

Student: Killer.

Another Student: God.

(my high school students may be sociopaths)

What kind of career list are you teaching?  :o

Ochodnid

  • Guest
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #12 on: April 26, 2011, 09:57:54 AM »
I am working on a comic idea for what my students say. I have a total of 42 typed-pages, but they are not standard paragraph form. They are typed in dialogue text. Some of my favorites. . .

1) Student: Teacher!?! Girlfriend?
Me: Friends.
Student: MARRIED?
Me: Just friends.
Students: BABIES! NO! YOU ARE MINE!

2) Student: Teacher, you have small head. You ugly.
Me: I have a normal head. You have a big head.
Student: Teacher, I tall. You short. You ugly.
Me: I am average. You are a giant.
Student: You are stupid. I am smart.
Me: I have German chocolate.
Student: HANDSOME! You SO amazing. I love you. You are. . .the. . .amazing man-man with . . .beautiful skin and great things.

Offline makeshiftb0y

  • Veteran
  • **
  • Posts: 208
  • Gender: Male
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #13 on: April 26, 2011, 10:05:35 AM »
lesson on careers...

Me: what do you want to be in the future?

Student: Killer.

Another Student: God.

(my high school students may be sociopaths)

Some of the responses I remember from last semester: gay bar bartender, gay bar CEO, arsonist, father, and homeless.

There were some other gems, but I can't recall what they were.

Offline AnthonyTeacher

  • Veteran
  • **
  • Posts: 81
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #14 on: April 26, 2011, 10:13:25 AM »
"Wait. Are you claiming to have made notalwaysright.com?"

Sorry I meant to say, it functions like a few of my other FAVORITE sites!

Please post on the website if you want to contribute.

ladyrhavyn

  • Guest
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #15 on: April 26, 2011, 10:19:26 AM »
I'm from Alaska.

FUNNIEST question to be asked yet - about Alaska
3 students in 1 class asked me this - 4th graders

   S: Teacher? You like dogs?
   Me: Yes I like dogs.
   S: Teacher, Alaska has dogs?
  Me: Yes, Alaska has dogs.
   S: Alaska peoples eat dog cat?
  Me: (Shocked at being asked!) GOODNESS no,
  S: Alaska not part of china russia?
  Me: No, We're part of the U.S.  (Co t steps in, we get a map)
  S: (After seeing a map) OH! Alaska! Why not part of Canada?
  Me: Thats another long story....(laughs!)

Offline hanndan

  • Adventurer
  • *
  • Posts: 39
  • Gender: Male
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #16 on: April 26, 2011, 10:23:07 AM »
This was during some game involving points for each team.....

Student:"Teacher Me Police call"
(Student mimed calling Police)
Me "Why?"
Student:" Points no give"

Much laughter from class and teacher..I  passed her my cellphone at this point ...

It was a basic second grade Elementary class so you have to give some credit for the English.
Needless to say the Police never got called.....

Funny student...:)

Other funny things..

Teacher : How are you?
Student : I'm die
Teacher : Yes very funny...

(Probably hear this one 5 times a day from my fifth grade students...)








Offline manonthemoon

  • Adventurer
  • *
  • Posts: 32
  • Gender: Male
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #17 on: April 26, 2011, 10:27:34 AM »
Me: What do you want to be in the future?
Student: A father.
Me: I mean what is your dream job?
Student: To be a father.
Me: That's cool, then who will you marry?
Student: My mother.
Me: That's kind of strange!
Student:sorry.

Student 1- She copied my answer.
Student 2- No, i said it first.
Student 1- No, I wrote Korean, because I am Korean.
Student 2- Well, I am Korean too.
Me: She has a point, you are both korean.

Students arguing about whether trucks are cars in my high level conversation class

Student 1- It is not a car. you can't say truck is a car.
Student 2- No it is bigger than a car. more wheels.
Student 3- I think it is the same as a car.
Student 4- Yes, I think it is the same as a car too.
Me: Ok, let's take a vote, who thinks a truck is a car?
Student 1- Teacher, this is not a democracy! THIS IS NOT A DEMOCRACY!! Why are we voting, it is not a car.
(this was soo funny)

Offline bebuggery

  • Adventurer
  • *
  • Posts: 33
  • Gender: Male
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #18 on: April 26, 2011, 10:30:37 AM »
Student: Teacher, give me candy!
Me: Why should I give you candy?
Student: Because I pretty girl, I will sex you!

Bonus: All-boys middle school.

Offline Taniwha

  • Veteran
  • **
  • Posts: 103
  • Gender: Male
Re: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute!
« Reply #19 on: April 26, 2011, 10:39:09 AM »
Middle schoolers.....

Student: Teacher.... ummm beeeeeee!!!!!! boooommmmm!!!!!! splash!!!!!...... ok?
Me: you mean your shoe fell off?
Student: yes


Me: what job does your mum do?
Student: my mum eats toast