November 18, 2018, 09:14:04 AM


Author Topic: Thus sayeth Confucius  (Read 1469 times)

Offline iamrhart

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Thus sayeth Confucius
« on: May 23, 2013, 12:20:09 PM »
Confucious came down from the mountain. in his hands he carried a wooden staff and a Stone tablet. On the stone tablet was written these words:
_______________________
ESL Commandments

1: Thou shalt be Culturally sensitive to the imperfections of the perfect peoples'
2: Welcome to Korea. enjoy it. could be worse.
___________________________

And frogs fell from the heavens. the first born sons died.
You only live today once. You wont get a second chance. You wont get to live it twice. So make the most of it.

A sane man in an insane world will appear insane.

Offline Orkblut

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Re: Thus sayeth Confucius
« Reply #1 on: May 28, 2013, 06:33:04 PM »
I am glad I am not Christian. Reading a blasphemous OP like that would be highly upsetting. Luckily it is obvious that the OP is very drunk, so it's somewhat excusable I suppose, although it makes us real EFL teachers look bad, with people being drunk on a week night before 8pm.

Offline Bulldogs12

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Re: Thus sayeth Confucius
« Reply #2 on: May 29, 2013, 12:27:40 AM »
Sorry I couldn't help myself with the Confucius reference;

Confucius say… if someone calls you fat, don't get angry… just turn the other chin.
Ha,ha,ha!

From the website: http://www.just-one-liners.com/category/confucius-say-wordplay

Offline Cereal

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Re: Thus sayeth Confucius
« Reply #3 on: May 29, 2013, 12:29:09 PM »
Or chins, cheeks and rolls in some people's case!
"The urge to destroy is also a creative urge."
Bakunin

Offline ransy215

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Re: Thus sayeth Confucius
« Reply #4 on: June 03, 2013, 10:42:12 AM »
I am glad I am not Christian. Reading a blasphemous OP like that would be highly upsetting. Luckily it is obvious that the OP is very drunk, so it's somewhat excusable I suppose, although it makes us real EFL teachers look bad, with people being drunk on a week night before 8pm.
Hey! I'm a reborn Christian and I find that incredibly funny.

Offline adamjay

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Re: Thus sayeth Confucius
« Reply #5 on: June 03, 2013, 01:40:50 PM »
Hmm, ten EFL Commandments.  Here's my go:

1.  Smile.
2.  Dress well.
3.  Say “Hello” one hundred times per working day.
4.   Candy is your new god.
5.   Relax.
6.  Adapt.
7.  Try to have fun.
8.  Don’t stop smiling.
9.  Seriously, if you stop smiling they will rise up and destroy you.
10.  Just keep smiling, just keep smiling, must - keep - smiling -   :cry:

Offline oatmealkooky

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Re: Thus sayeth Confucius
« Reply #6 on: June 03, 2013, 02:29:00 PM »
11. You only get one nervous breakdown, so make it a good one.

Offline iamrhart

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Re: Thus sayeth Confucius
« Reply #7 on: July 02, 2013, 02:43:40 PM »
just one? :( in that case....better go 'all out' eh?
You only live today once. You wont get a second chance. You wont get to live it twice. So make the most of it.

A sane man in an insane world will appear insane.

Offline weigookin74

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Re: Thus sayeth Confucius
« Reply #8 on: July 04, 2013, 01:13:42 PM »
Thus sayeth Confucious:  Eat your Kimchi son!

Offline ukukuk

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Re: Thus sayeth Confucius
« Reply #9 on: July 05, 2013, 11:31:04 AM »
11. You only get one nervous breakdown, so make it a good one.

nonsense, ive had at least 4 since i started teaching