December 11, 2018, 04:35:34 AM


Author Topic: Tired of My Life  (Read 17033 times)

Offline peach26

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Re: Tired of My Life
« Reply #40 on: February 07, 2012, 01:47:57 PM »
True...I'd imagine Korean women in the country
would really hate a fashionable foreign girl.
I'd be afraid of the men there,too, because
I was sexually assaulted once in Seoul.  I got
away from him before he did the unthinkable.

Offline lotte world

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Re: Tired of My Life
« Reply #41 on: February 07, 2012, 01:53:16 PM »
I also have a recruiter trying to introduce me^^
to a school in Yeoju..the boonies...some
agriculture and farming high school plus
teaching at the college there,too...I probably
WOULD be depressed and nuts in a rural
area...I'm from a small town in the states and
hate it there...rural areas in Korea are even
worse.

I live in a rural area in Korea.  It's great!

Peace and quiet, and you are definitely part of the community.  At the weekends it's easy to go to a city for shopping or whatever if you want to.  I feel sorry for the city dwellers who are busy-busy all week and have to try hard to get away from the city for a rest at the weekend.  Having said that, I know of some smaller places than this, which might get a little tedious if I lived there.

But, each to his own.

Offline DWAEDGIMORIGUKBAP

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Re: Tired of My Life
« Reply #42 on: February 07, 2012, 01:56:02 PM »
I also have a recruiter trying to introduce me^^
to a school in Yeoju..the boonies...some
agriculture and farming high school plus
teaching at the college there,too...I probably
WOULD be depressed and nuts in a rural
area...I'm from a small town in the states and
hate it there...rural areas in Korea are even
worse.

I live in a rural area in Korea.  It's great!

Peace and quiet, and you are definitely part of the community.  At the weekends it's easy to go to a city for shopping or whatever if you want to.  I feel sorry for the city dwellers who are busy-busy all week and have to try hard to get away from the city for a rest at the weekend.  Having said that, I know of some smaller places than this, which might get a little tedious if I lived there.

But, each to his own.

Country not the problem - farming high school.

Offline Yu_Bumsuk

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Re: Tired of My Life
« Reply #43 on: February 07, 2012, 02:01:32 PM »
I also have a recruiter trying to introduce me^^
to a school in Yeoju..the boonies...some
agriculture and farming high school plus
teaching at the college there,too...I probably
WOULD be depressed and nuts in a rural
area...I'm from a small town in the states and
hate it there...rural areas in Korea are even
worse.

I live in a rural area in Korea.  It's great!

Peace and quiet, and you are definitely part of the community.  At the weekends it's easy to go to a city for shopping or whatever if you want to.  I feel sorry for the city dwellers who are busy-busy all week and have to try hard to get away from the city for a rest at the weekend.  Having said that, I know of some smaller places than this, which might get a little tedious if I lived there.

But, each to his own.

Country not the problem - farming high school.

Yeah there are some really lousy HSs out here. I only have to teach two classes of my HS's vocational programme but if all I did was that level of classes it would be pretty depressing. If it were a gig with well under 22 lessons a week and three months a year off it might not be so bad, though.

The country life really suits some people and drives others crazy. If the OP didn't like it in the US she probably won't like it here.

Offline lotte world

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Re: Tired of My Life
« Reply #44 on: February 07, 2012, 02:02:51 PM »
True...I'd imagine Korean women in the country
would really hate a fashionable foreign girl.
I'd be afraid of the men there,too, because
I was sexually assaulted once in Seoul.  I got
away from him before he did the unthinkable.

Ok, so you were assaulted in the city, so you are afraid of men in the country?

And frankly, I doubt that Korean women in the country would hate you.  Here they drive BMW Minis, Audis and V-dubs, and this is a farming town.

Offline peach26

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Re: Tired of My Life
« Reply #45 on: February 07, 2012, 02:29:37 PM »
You'll be much happier in a public school.  They never stiff people on deosits etc and I always actually got around 2 - 3 weeks vacy summer and winter as I never had to desk warm over vacations.

Out of an 8 hour day you usually spend only 3 hrs of that teaching, it is a breeze.  Go for it!
Oh, this is a private elementary school.
I believe I'd be the only foreigner there,according to the
website, unpaid required workshops through the
year, a 900,000 housing deposit...I've never had
to pay a housing deposit like this, and only 5
days of vacation in the summer and 5 in winter.
I always thought private elementary schools were better
than this.  Plus, 7 50 minute classes 3 days a week,
and 6 50 minute classes twice a week.  That sounds like
a whole lot of teaching.  I need a job, but don't feel like being a slave.
I also don't want to go sit at Mom and Dad's unemployed.
Oh what to do, what to do... Maybe I should use some of my savings and get a TEFL in
Prague,etc.  But then, I'd still be jobless and my family isn't rich.  A roof and food is all they
can offer me^^.

Offline lotte world

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Re: Tired of My Life
« Reply #46 on: February 07, 2012, 02:41:57 PM »
You'll be much happier in a public school.  They never stiff people on deosits etc and I always actually got around 2 - 3 weeks vacy summer and winter as I never had to desk warm over vacations.

Out of an 8 hour day you usually spend only 3 hrs of that teaching, it is a breeze.  Go for it!
Oh, this is a private elementary school.
I believe I'd be the only foreigner there,according to the
website, unpaid required workshops through the
year, a 900,000 housing deposit...I've never had
to pay a housing deposit like this, and only 5
days of vacation in the summer and 5 in winter.
I always thought private elementary schools were better
than this.  Plus, 7 50 minute classes 3 days a week,
and 6 50 minute classes twice a week.  That sounds like
a whole lot of teaching.  I need a job, but don't feel like being a slave.
I also don't want to go sit at Mom and Dad's unemployed.
Oh what to do, what to do... Maybe I should use some of my savings and get a TEFL in
Prague,etc.  But then, I'd still be jobless and my family isn't rich.  A roof and food is all they
can offer me^^.

Wait, 7 classes on 3 days and 6 on two days?  That's 33 classes!  Most contracts specify 22 hours, with negotiable hours above that.  Teaching 25 is just about too much.  If you are teaching 33 you'll be dead in a month.  Keep looking.

Your "Private Elementary School" sounds like a hagwon.

Offline Yu_Bumsuk

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Re: Tired of My Life
« Reply #47 on: February 07, 2012, 02:43:21 PM »
You'll be much happier in a public school.  They never stiff people on deosits etc and I always actually got around 2 - 3 weeks vacy summer and winter as I never had to desk warm over vacations.

Out of an 8 hour day you usually spend only 3 hrs of that teaching, it is a breeze.  Go for it!
Oh, this is a private elementary school.
I believe I'd be the only foreigner there,according to the
website, unpaid required workshops through the
year, a 900,000 housing deposit...I've never had
to pay a housing deposit like this, and only 5
days of vacation in the summer and 5 in winter.
I always thought private elementary schools were better
than this.  Plus, 7 50 minute classes 3 days a week,
and 6 50 minute classes twice a week.  That sounds like
a whole lot of teaching.  I need a job, but don't feel like being a slave.
I also don't want to go sit at Mom and Dad's unemployed.
Oh what to do, what to do... Maybe I should use some of my savings and get a TEFL in
Prague,etc.  But then, I'd still be jobless and my family isn't rich.  A roof and food is all they
can offer me^^.

A private elementary school in the countryside?


Offline peach26

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Re: Tired of My Life
« Reply #48 on: February 07, 2012, 02:51:43 PM »
This private elementary school is in Incheon and they
specified "female" like 3 times in their job ad. Guess
they think they can treat a girl this way.

Offline eggplant_tyrant

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Re: Tired of My Life
« Reply #49 on: February 07, 2012, 02:55:38 PM »
Seriously, Korea isn't the only place you can go to get a job, and it will still be here in six months. By all means, keep looking for jobs while you're still here, but if at the end of that time you've found nothing appropriate, go home for a little bit. See family and friends. Take some time off. Explore other options. At the very least, you'll be sure this is what you want to do if you're looking to return in a few months' time.

Offline DWAEDGIMORIGUKBAP

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Re: Tired of My Life
« Reply #50 on: February 07, 2012, 03:08:54 PM »
This private elementary school is in Incheon and they
specified "female" like 3 times in their job ad. Guess
they think they can treat a girl this way.

It's a hakwan.

Offline Yu_Bumsuk

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Re: Tired of My Life
« Reply #51 on: February 07, 2012, 03:10:43 PM »
This private elementary school is in Incheon and they
specified "female" like 3 times in their job ad. Guess
they think they can treat a girl this way.

It's a hakwan.

That may be sub-contracting teachers to an elementary school.

Offline DWAEDGIMORIGUKBAP

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Re: Tired of My Life
« Reply #52 on: February 07, 2012, 03:14:56 PM »
This private elementary school is in Incheon and they
specified "female" like 3 times in their job ad. Guess
they think they can treat a girl this way.

It's a hakwan.

That may be sub-contracting teachers to an elementary school.

A lot of recruiters call hakwans 'Private Ele / middle / high schools.'

Offline peach26

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Re: Tired of My Life
« Reply #53 on: February 07, 2012, 04:43:05 PM »
I believe it was an elementary school that also
has a kindergarten on the grounds.  I saw the school's
website...I guess they didn't think I can read Korean and
understand it quite well.  I saw the teachers for grades 1-6, and
the English teachers were Koreans. I wondered where
the foreigners were...then I saw the kindergarten tab.
I bet that's where the foreigners are...I didn't bother to
click and look...that explains those long 33 classes a week
and the hagwon style vacation.

Watch out for elementary schools that own a
kindergarten.  My current elementary school has us
foreigners teaching grades 1-6... I think they own a hagwon,
but I've never seen it...that's where our first graders in March come
from.

Offline JahRhythm

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Re: Tired of My Life
« Reply #54 on: February 07, 2012, 04:45:01 PM »
Def. Not a Private elementary school.
Keep looking.
We teach EFL not ESL. Hagwon and "Private School" are not synonymous. Not everyone works in either a hagwon or public school. Immigration Question? Call 1345.

Offline joseph921

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Re: Tired of My Life
« Reply #55 on: February 07, 2012, 08:57:21 PM »
Hey, keep your head up.  Most of us here on waygook forums are single too, so you're not alone.
Do what's best for you and your life.  Remember that your odds of success increase with each attempt.
Arm yourself with persistence and perseverance.  Sometimes it's not about capability, but about suitability. 
We can often understand life by looking back, but we must live it moving forward.  Be your own biggest fan, believe in
yourself.  You can do anything you set your mind and heart to. 

In closing, here is a great story I've always loved about difficult times:

"I once heard a story about a mule that fell down a dry well. Because he was heavy, the farmer couldn't think how he was going to get him out. He called in a few neighbors to see if together they could pull him out. They all looked at the task and scratched their heads. This looked like an impossible job.

Finally one of the farmers suggested, "You know, neighbor, that mule is old and useless, and you wanted to fill up that well anyway. Why don't we all pitch in and help you. You would be completing two tasks in one, filling up the well, and burying the old beast."

So the farmers, all armed with shovels, began throwing dirt into the well, on top of the poor old mule. The mule began to panic. But not for long. Suddenly he stood up and began shaking off the dirt and trampling it under his feet. Each time a shovel full of dirt fell onto his back, he shook it off, and stepped up. Hour after hour the dirt was thrown onto his back. He just shook it off and stepped up. Before long the well was almost full. The mule was nearing the top. He could see the light of day. Calmly he stepped over the side of the now, nearly full well, and walked right by the farmers. While the men who had planned to bury him looked on in amazement, the mule meandered out to the field and began nibbling on succulent grass. "


Offline peach26

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Re: Tired of My Life
« Reply #56 on: February 07, 2012, 09:38:04 PM »
My self-esteem is something I have to really work
on getting back...my spirit was totally crushed because
of all of this...last year, we had a school concert and
I was walking with the pregnant foreign teacher back to our
seats...one of my homeroom teachers saw us and
she oooed and ahhhed and looked at her belly...she
didn't even acknowledge me^^ until I complimented
her on her shoes, and even then, barely.  I
guess I just wasn't thought of as a worthy person
since I'm single abs childless in my 30s.  Even in my
first year, one of the married ladies in get 40s asked me^^
if I was jealous because she's married and I'm not.  I
couldn't really answer..I was floored and didn't know
what to do except giggle...My homeroom teacher who
snubbed me at the school concert was the same one
who gave me^^ dirty looks at lunch my first year...before I became
so depressed.  Also, the teachers took a trip together
last year and I went...that night when we were sitting
in the living room, my 45 year old homeroom teacher
was sitting on the other side of me^^...there was an empty chair
between us, and she told one of the guys to come
and sit in the chair between us and she looked at me^^
and the guy was like "oh no no"...and she looked
at me and laughed..like she knew he would not sit next to
me^^..whatever...this is the same guy who called me^^ beautiful
on picture day... He also went up and giggled at the guy I like
when I talked to him...another guy my crush is friends
with usually giggles every time he sees me^^, especially
if my crush(his friend) is in the room.  Like it's sooo funny
when I'm around.  I've even seen on other websites stories
of attractive girls being hated by other women
and men and being treated like dirt for being pretty
and nice...one woman said she was almost 40
when she finally got married because of this.  I think
no man is ever going to truly love me^^ and want me^^
I'm good enough to be stared at, etc...but that's it.
Knowing I'm going to be single forever with only myself to depend
on for money truly hurts me and destroys my soul. 

Offline peach26

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Re: Tired of My Life
« Reply #57 on: February 07, 2012, 09:42:36 PM »
Not to mention trudging through this life
without the love of a good man..

Offline Yegob

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Re: Tired of My Life
« Reply #58 on: February 07, 2012, 09:54:25 PM »
re man wanting you etc, you never know about such things. the fact you state this once again hints at least a depressive state if not a case of depression.

all men want and love a woman for at least a while... perpetuity is an entirely different discussion. Women have it tougher, they have that biological clock to deal with.

if these perceived "affronts"  from other K women bother you that much, I'm surprised you accept them/take them as you do without sniping back. If I were in your place, I'd have a field day with these people.. there is SO much cannon fodder to work with.. you can't really go wrong. Fresh Korean wives go from a young adulthood of being a princess to being whale crap at the bottom of the ocean.
They have to do ALL the work at the required Korean family functions (Chuseok and Seollal especially) and are otherwise responsible for kissing the ass of her inlaws. That's their 'duty'. that's Korean "culture". Why do you think they become miserable  super aggresive ajummas in middle age? Frustration and revenge.

try with simple responses like I'm not interested in slaving away for my inlaws.
I'm not interested in becoming a Korean ajumma. (no young Korean gal these days is either, believe me, so how this evolves for the next generation ought to be interesting)

or tell that harpy shrew you're as "jealous" as the 40% of women in Seoul area  in their 30's that choose to remain single, worrying the Korean govt.

you can add my hairstylist anecdote. I mean seriously, the fact you allow this stuff to affect you is a worrying sign again.

p.s. seeing your last post, you're either still depressed over this Korean guy or there is something else again along lines of depression at work here. I can't comment on this since a guy's outlook is different and there's no biological clock to deal with so for us guys your age and older "trudging thru this life without the love of a good woman" isn't a particular worry or problem.

I still think you need to get your groove back. if you're half as attractive as you suggest and you're being honest without lying euphemisms like substituting curvy/healthy for fat etc then the world is your oyster. You'll be eaten alive by really attractive and suave Euro males at any major tourist resort, particularly Italians. The Israelis are even more aggressive, they have literally no issues of "shame". If you're a blonde, a Latin lover (of Latin America variety, apart from Euro Latins) is yours at the snap of a finger.
« Last Edit: February 07, 2012, 10:06:04 PM by Yegob »

Offline denimdaze

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Re: Tired of My Life
« Reply #59 on: February 07, 2012, 10:02:37 PM »
who says you're never going to get married? 
I'm 40, and I haven't given up hope yet.
 ;)

My point is, you influence your future by your thoughts and perceptions.
Also, work on assertiveness.  when you meet snarky people, don't be afraid to call them on it.  I usually ask "why do you say that?"  Once I asked a Korean teacher why she was laughing at me.  She pretended to not understand.  I persisted.  She hasn't done it again.

It may not be easy, but you are more in control of your life than you realize.  I'll leave you with a quote from an Eagles song.
Too often times it happens that we live our lives in chains, and we never even know we have the key.
(song- Already Gone)
Best wishes for youe future.