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Author Topic: Other Foreigners that look guilty af when they walk by you  (Read 7114 times)

Offline buckybee

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Re: Other Foreigners that look guilty af when they walk by you
« Reply #60 on: October 31, 2018, 01:37:31 PM »
I think I look guilty sometimes. When I see foreigners, on occasion I catch myself staring and I feel guilty about that. I know it is annoying to be stared at but sometimes it feels like I haven't seen another foreigner in awhile.

Online SacheonLiving

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Re: Other Foreigners that look guilty af when they walk by you
« Reply #61 on: October 31, 2018, 02:07:18 PM »
I have been here a little over six months and in my experience the social interaction here is a bit strange. Before moving here I was in Mexico(two months) and loved the expat and local community. The change in culture feels extremely cold and unwelcoming more from other expats than Korean. I have decided to assume that many expats coming here lack communication skills.  I wonder if these types of expats know how to build friendships in and outside of Korea.

Being alone in Korea has helped me develop some personal hobbies, but I really miss human connections.
« Last Edit: October 31, 2018, 02:12:10 PM by SacheonLiving »

Offline Sautee

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Re: Other Foreigners that look guilty af when they walk by you
« Reply #62 on: October 31, 2018, 02:28:01 PM »
From my perspective, there's a certain jadedness that can come from living in Korea. From the general mistrust that the Korean populace have to people outside their group to the more "favorable" interactions they give to people inside their group.

Having lived here for two years and eight months, it becomes more and more apparent as I get better at Korean. Because I'm Taiwanese-American, I can blend in when I want to, as it's mostly about body language and fashion choices—(Korean: think American 90's style with tighter fits and color-blocking; Japanese: somewhat more individualistic as they have more subcultures but think looser fits, blending colors and more focus on material).

I mention this because, it's very common to hear Koreans doing the guessing game with Asians that don't fit in. "Is he from OUR country? No, probably Chinese. Maybe Japanese? But there aren't many Japanese in OUR country. Of course he's not Korean!"

This exclusionary attitude probably rubs off on some expats. Especially those who feel like they've worked to fit in.

Like admissions to a tiered fraternity—sure you may be on the lower rung of the ladder but at least you ain't the new guy who finds the cafeteria kimchi too spicy...

« Last Edit: October 31, 2018, 02:34:36 PM by Sautee »

Online zola

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Re: Other Foreigners that look guilty af when they walk by you
« Reply #63 on: October 31, 2018, 02:42:56 PM »
Korea is still in a relatively early stage of having a decent number of expats. Outside of Seoul or areas with a US military base, if you see a western foreigner, odds are they are some sort of teacher. Whereas, in other places I've lived around the world, there is much, much wider array of people living in the country from different backgrounds, doing different things, families, greater range of age and there is entrenched expat culture that has been in place for decades or longer.

In my city 95% of the western foreigners I see are between the ages of 23-35, unmarried, no kids, working as a teacher. And of them, 75% are from N. America. It's a very narrow group. When I actually made an effort to go out and join in foreign community things, I found most people to be friendly and welcoming. Expecting to make friends by going up to randoms on the street is never going to be the best method.
Kpip! - Martin 2018

Offline SeoulAlone

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Re: Other Foreigners that look guilty af when they walk by you
« Reply #64 on: October 31, 2018, 02:52:15 PM »
I have been here a little over six months and in my experience the social interaction here is a bit strange. Before moving here I was in Mexico(two months) and loved the expat and local community. The change in culture feels extremely cold and unwelcoming more from other expats than Korean. I have decided to assume that many expats coming here lack communication skills.  I wonder if these types of expats know how to build friendships in and outside of Korea.

Being alone in Korea has helped me develop some personal hobbies, but I really miss human connections.

It's not only strange, but very clique-y.  I know we have cliques in North America/Europe, but here, they take it to the extreme.  Especially in my area.  If you're in, you're in, if not, they make sure you know it. 

Being alone can be a good thing, but make sure you don't end up being a 'shut in'.  It'll make your stay here unbearable. 


Online zola

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Re: Other Foreigners that look guilty af when they walk by you
« Reply #65 on: October 31, 2018, 02:59:38 PM »
I have been here a little over six months and in my experience the social interaction here is a bit strange. Before moving here I was in Mexico(two months) and loved the expat and local community. The change in culture feels extremely cold and unwelcoming more from other expats than Korean. I have decided to assume that many expats coming here lack communication skills.  I wonder if these types of expats know how to build friendships in and outside of Korea.

Being alone in Korea has helped me develop some personal hobbies, but I really miss human connections.

It's not only strange, but very clique-y.  I know we have cliques in North America/Europe, but here, they take it to the extreme.  Especially in my area.  If you're in, you're in, if not, they make sure you know it. 

How do you they let you know?

People really aren't like that here. Maybe because I live in a (relatively) small city. Or maybe they are like that and I don't notice.
Kpip! - Martin 2018

Offline SeoulAlone

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Re: Other Foreigners that look guilty af when they walk by you
« Reply #66 on: October 31, 2018, 03:16:09 PM »
I have been here a little over six months and in my experience the social interaction here is a bit strange. Before moving here I was in Mexico(two months) and loved the expat and local community. The change in culture feels extremely cold and unwelcoming more from other expats than Korean. I have decided to assume that many expats coming here lack communication skills.  I wonder if these types of expats know how to build friendships in and outside of Korea.

Being alone in Korea has helped me develop some personal hobbies, but I really miss human connections.

It's not only strange, but very clique-y.  I know we have cliques in North America/Europe, but here, they take it to the extreme.  Especially in my area.  If you're in, you're in, if not, they make sure you know it. 

How do you they let you know?

People really aren't like that here. Maybe because I live in a (relatively) small city. Or maybe they are like that and I don't notice.

Easy.  You know of all the gatherings in and outside the building, (building has a FB DM's) but are never invited.  Or you see the aftermath of said get together via FB.  (aka pictures)
You're lucky then. 

Offline #basedcowboyshirt

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Re: Other Foreigners that look guilty af when they walk by you
« Reply #67 on: October 31, 2018, 03:28:01 PM »
I have been here a little over six months and in my experience the social interaction here is a bit strange. Before moving here I was in Mexico(two months) and loved the expat and local community. The change in culture feels extremely cold and unwelcoming more from other expats than Korean. I have decided to assume that many expats coming here lack communication skills.  I wonder if these types of expats know how to build friendships in and outside of Korea.

Being alone in Korea has helped me develop some personal hobbies, but I really miss human connections.

It's not only strange, but very clique-y.  I know we have cliques in North America/Europe, but here, they take it to the extreme.  Especially in my area.  If you're in, you're in, if not, they make sure you know it. 

How do you they let you know?

People really aren't like that here. Maybe because I live in a (relatively) small city. Or maybe they are like that and I don't notice.

Easy.  You know of all the gatherings in and outside the building, (building has a FB DM's) but are never invited.  Or you see the aftermath of said get together via FB.  (aka pictures)
You're lucky then.

Oh weird. I've never lived in a building that had other foreigners living in it. That would be so strange.

Offline anichion

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Re: Other Foreigners that look guilty af when they walk by you
« Reply #68 on: October 31, 2018, 08:28:14 PM »
My small city has received a lot of foreign tourists in the past two years. So as far as 'guilty' looks go, I haven't seen any.
I have noticed a few more foreign workers these days. Maybe they're worried I'm working for k-immi or something? I haven't heard of any stings in this city lately but there's action in Gyeonggi-do now. So if I see 'guilty' looks, I don't think it's us they're looking at.

Offline VanIslander

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Re: Other Foreigners that look guilty af when they walk by you
« Reply #69 on: October 31, 2018, 09:45:52 PM »
Look guilty?

Maybe nervous, uncertain, wondering if the fellow foreigner in front of them would be friendly in reply if you said "Hi" or if they'd ignore you like a total stranger.

When I first came here in 2002 I used to greet other visibly non-koreans (eg., many Pakistanis working in Masan factories would travel to Tongyeong or Geoje on weekends). I've met an Irish horse breeder on Jeju, an American salesman on Ulleungdo, a Canadian poet in Goseong, a South African radio show producer in Yeosu, etc. But I've also met A LOT of cold shoulders! There is a clear inverse relationship between the size of the city and the comfortableness talking to strangers.

After 15+ years here, there are places I never say hello, places I always say hello, and.. yeah, places where I'm hesitant and thus likely to bail on the impulse and look away nervously.

So, what I guess I'm saying is: The next time you think a fellow foreigner looks 'guilty' in passing, take the opportunity to say hi yourself. If they are anything like me, they are likely to suddenly feel comfortable and break out a smile. :)

After all, the REAL jerks don't look guilty, hesitant, or uncomfortable. They gladly give cold shoulders with attitude.
« Last Edit: October 31, 2018, 09:51:35 PM by VanIslander »

Offline KimDuHan

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Re: Other Foreigners that look guilty af when they walk by you
« Reply #70 on: November 01, 2018, 01:42:09 AM »
Living abroad is hard help a fellow waygook out. Give them a nod or a friendly smile.

If you're so uptight that other foreigners bother you then maybe you need Jesus, Buddha or some spaghetti monster in your life.

Offline apancoe

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Re: Other Foreigners that look guilty af when they walk by you
« Reply #71 on: November 01, 2018, 07:14:50 AM »
i always give a strong head nod and keep it moving. male or female doesn't matter. this way i'm not bothering them by trying to start a convo and i'm not looked at like a prick for doing nothing. 

too many blueprints & not enough architects

Online eggieguffer

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Re: Other Foreigners that look guilty af when they walk by you
« Reply #72 on: November 01, 2018, 07:18:17 AM »
i always give a strong head nod and keep it moving. male or female doesn't matter. this way i'm not bothering them by trying to start a convo and i'm not looked at like a prick for doing nothing.

Yeah you want to avoid the stop and chat scenario.


Offline apancoe

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Re: Other Foreigners that look guilty af when they walk by you
« Reply #73 on: November 01, 2018, 08:02:08 AM »
i always give a strong head nod and keep it moving. male or female doesn't matter. this way i'm not bothering them by trying to start a convo and i'm not looked at like a prick for doing nothing.

Yeah you want to avoid the stop and chat scenario.



lmaooo  that's exactly what i'm trying to avoid.
too many blueprints & not enough architects

Online fatima94

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Re: Other Foreigners that look guilty af when they walk by you
« Reply #74 on: November 01, 2018, 10:33:40 AM »
I
Living abroad is hard help a fellow waygook out. Give them a nod or a friendly smile.

If you're so uptight that other foreigners bother you then maybe you need Jesus, Buddha or some spaghetti monster in your life.

Preach.
And honestly I don't care if some irrelevant strangers are just going to give me a baseless 'label' because I am simply judging foreigners the EXACT same way they are judging me. 

I'm just glad my best friends from UK will be coming to join me soon :)

Offline stevebarker

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Re: Other Foreigners that look guilty af when they walk by you
« Reply #75 on: November 01, 2018, 01:50:06 PM »
The change in culture feels extremely cold and unwelcoming more from other expats than Korean. I have decided to assume that many expats coming here lack communication skills.  I wonder if these types of expats know how to build friendships in and outside of Korea.

Being alone in Korea has helped me develop some personal hobbies, but I really miss human connections.

I think they're here because they think their awkardness gets lost in another culture, but we can see you.

I prolong eye contact to make up for their lack of it  8)
Good to see some people with decent comportment on here  :afro:

Online OnNut81

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Re: Other Foreigners that look guilty af when they walk by you
« Reply #76 on: November 01, 2018, 02:36:25 PM »
#basedcowboyshirt: Oh weird. I've never lived in a building that had other foreigners living in it. That would be so strange.

If I'm missing sarcasm, forgive me, but why would that be strange?  If you live in a building you live with lots of other people.  Why would it be strange if some of them were foreigners?  If you're living in a populated area then no doubt there are foreigners about.  You have to live somewhere and so do they. 

Online MaximusPrime

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Re: Other Foreigners that look guilty af when they walk by you
« Reply #77 on: November 01, 2018, 02:53:57 PM »
I have lived in apartments with up to 10 foreigners that lived in it. Some I didn't really know but would say hi if I saw them or was in the elevator together. The rest became good friends after a while.
I would usually give the nod to others who were in my area.

Right now I live in a villa that I feel is probably 30-40% foreigner. Only difference they are all Chinese so I don't say anything to them  :angel: .

Offline kyndo

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Re: Other Foreigners that look guilty af when they walk by you
« Reply #78 on: November 01, 2018, 03:01:23 PM »
#basedcowboyshirt: Oh weird. I've never lived in a building that had other foreigners living in it. That would be so strange.

If I'm missing sarcasm, forgive me, but why would that be strange?  If you live in a building you live with lots of other people.  Why would it be strange if some of them were foreigners?  If you're living in a populated area then no doubt there are foreigners about.  You have to live somewhere and so do they.
I have a friend who used to live in Yeungcheon. It's a fairly small city, but has around half dozen EPIK teachers or so. All of those teachers were given residence in the same building, and the drama just never ceased.
   Likewise, the instructors at the uni close to where I live all used to live on campus in the foreigner residence (they got booted out last year to make room for the expansion of foreign student housing). Again, the stories there were pretty darn funny, but they also kinda cemented the fact that I don't want to basically live with the folk who make up my social circle. Less gossip fodder that way too.

   Also, I love my friends -- I really do! (most of 'em, anyway) -- but for a few of them... well... I'm really happy they're not my neighbours.  :huh:

Offline #basedcowboyshirt

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Re: Other Foreigners that look guilty af when they walk by you
« Reply #79 on: November 02, 2018, 07:48:17 AM »
#basedcowboyshirt: Oh weird. I've never lived in a building that had other foreigners living in it. That would be so strange.

If I'm missing sarcasm, forgive me, but why would that be strange?  If you live in a building you live with lots of other people.  Why would it be strange if some of them were foreigners?  If you're living in a populated area then no doubt there are foreigners about.  You have to live somewhere and so do they.

Oh, no sarcasm. I've just been here for a pretty long time, and have never been in that situation here. So it's totally outside of my experience zone. So, to me, I think it would feel really strange, because it's radically different from what I'm used to.