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Author Topic: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0  (Read 594835 times)

Online sevenpm

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #480 on: August 09, 2016, 03:34:26 PM »
I don't like being yanked around to lunch here and there without any warning or asking.

I guess maybe it's my POV. Some people might see it as free lunch by people who don't want me eating alone, but it doesn't feel as nice as it sounds. I pack a lunch that I want to eat every day. I went to the store specifically to plan and buy the things I want to eat after camp, but I don't get to eat these things because I have to go with the group and no one asks if I want to or not. I hate the idea here that eating alone is sad. I like it! To me, it's sad that these people can't be independent enough to eat by themselves sometimes.

If someone here asks me what I'm having for dinner on like... a Wednesday & I tell them they'll ask me who I'm eating with and act like I just said I'm about to jump from a 15 story building when I tell them I'm eating alone at home. Like, it's Wednesday night and I made myself some freaking pasta why is that an issue??? Who the hell needs to go out to dinner with people they probably don't even like every night? I've even had people tell me they skipped dinner because they had no one to eat with. Now that is f*cking sad.
« Last Edit: August 10, 2016, 11:25:14 AM by sevenpm »

Offline JahMoo

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #481 on: August 09, 2016, 03:42:15 PM »
I don't like being yanked around to lunch here and there without any warning or asking.

I guess maybe it's my POV. Some people might see it as free lunch by people who don't want me eating alone, but it doesn't feel as nice as it sounds. I pack a lunch that I want to eat every day. I went to the store specifically to plan and by the things I want to eat after camp, but I don't get to eat these things because I have to go with the group and no one asks if I want to or not. I hate the idea here that eating alone is sad. I like it! To me, it's sad that these people can't be independent enough to eat by themselves sometimes.

If someone here asks me what I'm having for dinner on like... a Wednesday & I tell them they'll ask me who I'm eating with and act like I just said I'm about to jump from a 15 story building when I tell them I'm eating alone at home. Like, it's Wednesday night and I made myself some freaking pasta why is that an issue??? Who the hell needs to go out to dinner with people they probably don't even like every night? I've even had people tell me they skipped dinner because they had no one to eat with. Now that is f*cking sad.

I agree with you. There are plenty of times I know exactly what I want and suddenly my plans are changed because I suddenly find out about a lunch or dinner that was planned for a week,
I do have days that I'd rather not eat than eat alone, but the regular days definitely outweigh those.
I think what people here sometimes don't realize is that it's a million times more enjoyable to actually eat alone than to eat surrounded by people who don't understand you and visaversa.

Offline z80

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #482 on: August 09, 2016, 04:34:36 PM »

I simply don't know how far it goes and that scares me away from things like getting into close relationships with people. From what I see/hear it seems like people are just living in a fantasy world of their own making for the sake of saving face or whatever.

I'm a big fan of never saying never, but that's the reason I wouldn't go local. Before I came here I never really understood the importance of a shared culture. Not lying about every single thing in life is a really important bit of culture for me.

The thing that is really just pissing me off the most is there is simply no need for them to lie about simple little things. "I forgot to blah blah blah. I'm sorry". How simple is that? It's even easier than lying!!!!!!

Offline KirbyFan112

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #483 on: August 10, 2016, 08:27:22 AM »
I have to do phone calling this camp. What am I supposed to say to a 1st grader on the phone? :huh:

Online sevenpm

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #484 on: August 10, 2016, 11:29:50 AM »

I simply don't know how far it goes and that scares me away from things like getting into close relationships with people. From what I see/hear it seems like people are just living in a fantasy world of their own making for the sake of saving face or whatever.

I'm a big fan of never saying never, but that's the reason I wouldn't go local. Before I came here I never really understood the importance of a shared culture. Not lying about every single thing in life is a really important bit of culture for me.

The thing that is really just pissing me off the most is there is simply no need for them to lie about simple little things. "I forgot to blah blah blah. I'm sorry". How simple is that? It's even easier than lying!!!!!!

SAME.

I was so silly and thought that things such as not lying, not cheating (yes prostitutes count), and generally trying to live an honest life were shared among modern cultures. Boy was I wrong.

I also wonder if they think I'm a fool for being honest about things. I don't make up lies to cover my ass at work or inflate my self-worth. If I forgot something or made a mistake, I admit it. Maybe they're like "why isn't this idiot saving face she's so embarrassing!" as I'm sitting here wondering why they are so damn corrupt.

Offline DLJL

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #485 on: August 10, 2016, 11:48:56 AM »
Told a solid third of my camp class not to come back for the final two days. They seemed really shocked, almost upset even. I thought it was really weird, because they've been nothing but rude, disrespectful, uncooperative and lazy over the last two weeks.

But then I realised they're probably scared of having to explain to their parents why they aren't going to camp for the next two days.

Sucks to be them.


Offline sixtieshappy

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #486 on: August 11, 2016, 10:52:38 PM »
So... my co-teacher informed me that to get to the immigration office to renew my visa we'll be taking a bus, the mugunghwa, and the metro.  She doesn't want to drive because it's so far away.  That seems like a perfectly good reason to drive to me.   :rolleyes:
Why is she escorting you?

Surely, after navigating your way around Korea for the past 12+ months, it's unnecessary.

What gives?

Hmm it never occurred to me to go alone.

Offline Somebody

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #487 on: August 12, 2016, 01:02:24 AM »

I simply don't know how far it goes and that scares me away from things like getting into close relationships with people. From what I see/hear it seems like people are just living in a fantasy world of their own making for the sake of saving face or whatever.

I'm a big fan of never saying never, but that's the reason I wouldn't go local. Before I came here I never really understood the importance of a shared culture. Not lying about every single thing in life is a really important bit of culture for me.

The thing that is really just pissing me off the most is there is simply no need for them to lie about simple little things. "I forgot to blah blah blah. I'm sorry". How simple is that? It's even easier than lying!!!!!!

SAME.

I was so silly and thought that things such as not lying, not cheating (yes prostitutes count), and generally trying to live an honest life were shared among modern cultures. Boy was I wrong.

I also wonder if they think I'm a fool for being honest about things. I don't make up lies to cover my ass at work or inflate my self-worth. If I forgot something or made a mistake, I admit it. Maybe they're like "why isn't this idiot saving face she's so embarrassing!" as I'm sitting here wondering why they are so damn corrupt.

Relax. Where would humanity be without lying? I guarantee you nobody got anywhere telling the truth. It's a fact of life. Honesty means losing contacts, friends, and even family. So, what's left? Days of being alone. Doing what you want when you want to do it. Actually? it sounds do-able.


Offline JahMoo

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #488 on: August 12, 2016, 08:24:46 AM »
Relax. Where would humanity be without lying? I guarantee you nobody got anywhere telling the truth. It's a fact of life. Honesty means losing contacts, friends, and even family. So, what's left? Days of being alone. Doing what you want when you want to do it. Actually? it sounds do-able.

I'm sure I never lost friends or family from telling the truth when it was hard.

Offline chupacaubrey

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #489 on: August 12, 2016, 08:51:37 AM »
I don't like being yanked around to lunch here and there without any warning or asking.

I guess maybe it's my POV. Some people might see it as free lunch by people who don't want me eating alone, but it doesn't feel as nice as it sounds. I pack a lunch that I want to eat every day. I went to the store specifically to plan and buy the things I want to eat after camp, but I don't get to eat these things because I have to go with the group and no one asks if I want to or not. I hate the idea here that eating alone is sad. I like it! To me, it's sad that these people can't be independent enough to eat by themselves sometimes.

If someone here asks me what I'm having for dinner on like... a Wednesday & I tell them they'll ask me who I'm eating with and act like I just said I'm about to jump from a 15 story building when I tell them I'm eating alone at home. Like, it's Wednesday night and I made myself some freaking pasta why is that an issue??? Who the hell needs to go out to dinner with people they probably don't even like every night? I've even had people tell me they skipped dinner because they had no one to eat with. Now that is f*cking sad.

Skipped dinner because they had no one to eat with...

That is wrecking my mind right now. I mean, for one, I'd starve but I just, wow.

Online sevenpm

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #490 on: August 12, 2016, 11:43:17 AM »

I simply don't know how far it goes and that scares me away from things like getting into close relationships with people. From what I see/hear it seems like people are just living in a fantasy world of their own making for the sake of saving face or whatever.

I'm a big fan of never saying never, but that's the reason I wouldn't go local. Before I came here I never really understood the importance of a shared culture. Not lying about every single thing in life is a really important bit of culture for me.

The thing that is really just pissing me off the most is there is simply no need for them to lie about simple little things. "I forgot to blah blah blah. I'm sorry". How simple is that? It's even easier than lying!!!!!!

SAME.

I was so silly and thought that things such as not lying, not cheating (yes prostitutes count), and generally trying to live an honest life were shared among modern cultures. Boy was I wrong.

I also wonder if they think I'm a fool for being honest about things. I don't make up lies to cover my ass at work or inflate my self-worth. If I forgot something or made a mistake, I admit it. Maybe they're like "why isn't this idiot saving face she's so embarrassing!" as I'm sitting here wondering why they are so damn corrupt.

Relax. Where would humanity be without lying? I guarantee you nobody got anywhere telling the truth. It's a fact of life. Honesty means losing contacts, friends, and even family. So, what's left? Days of being alone. Doing what you want when you want to do it. Actually? it sounds do-able.

I'm not sure what kind of life you live where telling the truth would hinder your existence on a regular basis. Yikes.

Offline DMZabductee

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #491 on: August 12, 2016, 12:20:33 PM »

I simply don't know how far it goes and that scares me away from things like getting into close relationships with people. From what I see/hear it seems like people are just living in a fantasy world of their own making for the sake of saving face or whatever.

I'm a big fan of never saying never, but that's the reason I wouldn't go local. Before I came here I never really understood the importance of a shared culture. Not lying about every single thing in life is a really important bit of culture for me.

The thing that is really just pissing me off the most is there is simply no need for them to lie about simple little things. "I forgot to blah blah blah. I'm sorry". How simple is that? It's even easier than lying!!!!!!

SAME.

I was so silly and thought that things such as not lying, not cheating (yes prostitutes count), and generally trying to live an honest life were shared among modern cultures. Boy was I wrong.

I also wonder if they think I'm a fool for being honest about things. I don't make up lies to cover my ass at work or inflate my self-worth. If I forgot something or made a mistake, I admit it. Maybe they're like "why isn't this idiot saving face she's so embarrassing!" as I'm sitting here wondering why they are so damn corrupt.

Relax. Where would humanity be without lying? I guarantee you nobody got anywhere telling the truth. It's a fact of life. Honesty means losing contacts, friends, and even family. So, what's left? Days of being alone. Doing what you want when you want to do it. Actually? it sounds do-able.

I'm not sure what kind of life you live where telling the truth would hinder your existence on a regular basis. Yikes.

Imagine a world without all those little white lies we tell others (and ourselves) so that the social wheels keep turning and folks don't end up murdering one another.

What would happen if you just told your co-worker that they look fat lately and should put down that fourth doughnut? It's the truth, but do you say it? Well, maybe in a Korean workplace ... :laugh:

Or maybe you tell your best friend that they were actually the one that was wrong in their recent relationship and that that's why their ex broke up with them. Maybe it's the truth, do you say it though? Probably not, you call the ex a scumbag, say everything will be alright and go out for drinks arm in arm...

We all lie to:

A) save face at some point
B) say what others want to/need to hear
C) go along to get along at work

The only difference is the cultural boundary of how and when to lie is different here in Korea than in the "West". So it seems shocking when Koreans lie about something we would never feel the need to. Annoying? Yes. Is it that different from other cultures? No.

« Last Edit: August 12, 2016, 12:22:14 PM by DMZabductee »

Offline JahMoo

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #492 on: August 12, 2016, 12:50:25 PM »
Relax. Where would humanity be without lying? I guarantee you nobody got anywhere telling the truth. It's a fact of life. Honesty means losing contacts, friends, and even family. So, what's left? Days of being alone. Doing what you want when you want to do it. Actually? it sounds do-able.

I'm not sure what kind of life you live where telling the truth would hinder your existence on a regular basis. Yikes.

Imagine a world without all those little white lies we tell others (and ourselves) so that the social wheels keep turning and folks don't end up murdering one another.

What would happen if you just told your co-worker that they look fat lately and should put down that fourth doughnut? It's the truth, but do you say it? Well, maybe in a Korean workplace ... :laugh:

Or maybe you tell your best friend that they were actually the one that was wrong in their recent relationship and that that's why their ex broke up with them. Maybe it's the truth, do you say it though? Probably not, you call the ex a scumbag, say everything will be alright and go out for drinks arm in arm...

We all lie to:

A) save face at some point
B) say what others want to/need to hear
C) go along to get along at work

The only difference is the cultural boundary of how and when to lie is different here in Korea than in the "West". So it seems shocking when Koreans lie about something we would never feel the need to. Annoying? Yes. Is it that different from other cultures? No.

Legit do not tell these nonsense lies.

I don't comment on people's weight at all, but if someone asks: "No, that's not a very flattering top, try vertical stripes". I don't care how many doughnuts they eat.

If my best friend was wrong in her last relationship, that's her relationship to ruin, there's no need for me to comment more than, "there's plenty of fish in the sea". If she asks me though, I'm gonna tell her the truth because I want her to have a happy healthy relationship in the future, not ruin the next one the same way.

I don't tell lies that don't have to be told. Now, if my student asks me if my parents are married, I might lie and say that they are. That has nothing to do with saving face, saying what she wants to hear, or going along to get along. That has to do with the fact that it's none of little Minji's business, and if I say "It's none of your business", that's the same as saying "No, they aren't together, Minji".

Super rare occurrance at that. You make it sound like people go through their lives telling lie after lie. Well, maybe they do, but I try to stay away from those kind of people.

Online sevenpm

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #493 on: August 12, 2016, 01:00:11 PM »

I simply don't know how far it goes and that scares me away from things like getting into close relationships with people. From what I see/hear it seems like people are just living in a fantasy world of their own making for the sake of saving face or whatever.

I'm a big fan of never saying never, but that's the reason I wouldn't go local. Before I came here I never really understood the importance of a shared culture. Not lying about every single thing in life is a really important bit of culture for me.

The thing that is really just pissing me off the most is there is simply no need for them to lie about simple little things. "I forgot to blah blah blah. I'm sorry". How simple is that? It's even easier than lying!!!!!!

SAME.

I was so silly and thought that things such as not lying, not cheating (yes prostitutes count), and generally trying to live an honest life were shared among modern cultures. Boy was I wrong.

I also wonder if they think I'm a fool for being honest about things. I don't make up lies to cover my ass at work or inflate my self-worth. If I forgot something or made a mistake, I admit it. Maybe they're like "why isn't this idiot saving face she's so embarrassing!" as I'm sitting here wondering why they are so damn corrupt.

Relax. Where would humanity be without lying? I guarantee you nobody got anywhere telling the truth. It's a fact of life. Honesty means losing contacts, friends, and even family. So, what's left? Days of being alone. Doing what you want when you want to do it. Actually? it sounds do-able.

I'm not sure what kind of life you live where telling the truth would hinder your existence on a regular basis. Yikes.

Imagine a world without all those little white lies we tell others (and ourselves) so that the social wheels keep turning and folks don't end up murdering one another.

What would happen if you just told your co-worker that they look fat lately and should put down that fourth doughnut? It's the truth, but do you say it? Well, maybe in a Korean workplace ... :laugh:

Or maybe you tell your best friend that they were actually the one that was wrong in their recent relationship and that that's why their ex broke up with them. Maybe it's the truth, do you say it though? Probably not, you call the ex a scumbag, say everything will be alright and go out for drinks arm in arm...

We all lie to:

A) save face at some point
B) say what others want to/need to hear
C) go along to get along at work

The only difference is the cultural boundary of how and when to lie is different here in Korea than in the "West". So it seems shocking when Koreans lie about something we would never feel the need to. Annoying? Yes. Is it that different from other cultures? No.

You wrote all that to just restate the obvious. And yeah where to draw the line isn't a small difference. It's actually a pretty big one when it comes to just about anything. We all lie, but where someone draws the line says a lot about their character in my opinion. If someone asks me my opinion on their clothing & they actually WANT my opinion, I give it honestly. If someone genuinely wants my opinion on their love life, I give it to them!

Haven't you ever known someone who exaggerates their stories or twists them to the point their word can't be trusted? Those people are not fun to be around vs someone who lies and tells you they like your new haircut when they really don't. It's all a matter of degree and the degree to which people lie here is uncomfortable to me. I expect adults to take responsibility for themselves and their actions. It's how I was raised, but "the truth" doesn't seem to be held in high regard here. I really don't feel the need to lie to just get through my day and the people who do feel the need aren't people I'd really like to be around.

I don't really understand the point of responses like this though. I've seen people spit back home a couple of times so does that mean I can't be tired of the hacking I can hear from my window and gobs of phlegm that litter the streets?

No one said Koreans invented lying so... no need to waste your time.

Offline Somebody

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #494 on: August 13, 2016, 01:52:56 AM »

I simply don't know how far it goes and that scares me away from things like getting into close relationships with people. From what I see/hear it seems like people are just living in a fantasy world of their own making for the sake of saving face or whatever.

I'm a big fan of never saying never, but that's the reason I wouldn't go local. Before I came here I never really understood the importance of a shared culture. Not lying about every single thing in life is a really important bit of culture for me.

The thing that is really just pissing me off the most is there is simply no need for them to lie about simple little things. "I forgot to blah blah blah. I'm sorry". How simple is that? It's even easier than lying!!!!!!

SAME.

I was so silly and thought that things such as not lying, not cheating (yes prostitutes count), and generally trying to live an honest life were shared among modern cultures. Boy was I wrong.

I also wonder if they think I'm a fool for being honest about things. I don't make up lies to cover my ass at work or inflate my self-worth. If I forgot something or made a mistake, I admit it. Maybe they're like "why isn't this idiot saving face she's so embarrassing!" as I'm sitting here wondering why they are so damn corrupt.

Relax. Where would humanity be without lying? I guarantee you nobody got anywhere telling the truth. It's a fact of life. Honesty means losing contacts, friends, and even family. So, what's left? Days of being alone. Doing what you want when you want to do it. Actually? it sounds do-able.

I'm not sure what kind of life you live where telling the truth would hinder your existence on a regular basis. Yikes.

Imagine a world without all those little white lies we tell others (and ourselves) so that the social wheels keep turning and folks don't end up murdering one another.

What would happen if you just told your co-worker that they look fat lately and should put down that fourth doughnut? It's the truth, but do you say it? Well, maybe in a Korean workplace ... :laugh:

Or maybe you tell your best friend that they were actually the one that was wrong in their recent relationship and that that's why their ex broke up with them. Maybe it's the truth, do you say it though? Probably not, you call the ex a scumbag, say everything will be alright and go out for drinks arm in arm...

We all lie to:

A) save face at some point
B) say what others want to/need to hear
C) go along to get along at work

The only difference is the cultural boundary of how and when to lie is different here in Korea than in the "West". So it seems shocking when Koreans lie about something we would never feel the need to. Annoying? Yes. Is it that different from other cultures? No.

You wrote all that to just restate the obvious. And yeah where to draw the line isn't a small difference. It's actually a pretty big one when it comes to just about anything. We all lie, but where someone draws the line says a lot about their character in my opinion. If someone asks me my opinion on their clothing & they actually WANT my opinion, I give it honestly. If someone genuinely wants my opinion on their love life, I give it to them!

Haven't you ever known someone who exaggerates their stories or twists them to the point their word can't be trusted? Those people are not fun to be around vs someone who lies and tells you they like your new haircut when they really don't. It's all a matter of degree and the degree to which people lie here is uncomfortable to me. I expect adults to take responsibility for themselves and their actions. It's how I was raised, but "the truth" doesn't seem to be held in high regard here. I really don't feel the need to lie to just get through my day and the people who do feel the need aren't people I'd really like to be around.

I don't really understand the point of responses like this though. I've seen people spit back home a couple of times so does that mean I can't be tired of the hacking I can hear from my window and gobs of phlegm that litter the streets?

No one said Koreans invented lying so... no need to waste your time.

I'm surprised at your moral objection to lying, considering you admit to lying yourself. Is there a specific moral code to lying? What lying is acceptable and what is not? Please enlighten us as to the right way to lie.

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #495 on: August 13, 2016, 07:07:51 AM »
Quote
I'm surprised at your moral objection to lying, considering you admit to lying yourself. Is there a specific moral code to lying? What lying is acceptable and what is not? Please enlighten us as to the right way to lie.

Simple. Don't tell a lie you can be caught out on.

Offline Somebody

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #496 on: August 13, 2016, 07:32:33 AM »
Quote
I'm surprised at your moral objection to lying, considering you admit to lying yourself. Is there a specific moral code to lying? What lying is acceptable and what is not? Please enlighten us as to the right way to lie.

Simple. Don't tell a lie you can be caught out on.

Ah, now there's a strategy.

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #497 on: August 13, 2016, 08:38:17 AM »
Quote
I'm surprised at your moral objection to lying, considering you admit to lying yourself. Is there a specific moral code to lying? What lying is acceptable and what is not? Please enlighten us as to the right way to lie.

Simple. Don't tell a lie you can be caught out on.

Ah, now there's a strategy.
"Anything's legal, man, as long as you don't get caught."
One of my favourite quotes (although not one I necessarily agree with: I'm not a total sociopath!)

Everybody lies, some more than others. In my personal opinion, a good moral line to draw would be the one Buddhist philosophies like to preach: consider if the lie is harmful in any way. Will your fib harm/inconvenience/utterly destroy another person? Then avoid it. Will the net effect be positive? Spin them yarns!  :P

Offline Somebody

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #498 on: August 13, 2016, 11:03:56 AM »
Myself, I believe a good moral line to draw is it's ok to lie as long as it helps you, in whatever situation you find yourself. I mean lying for trivial or fruitless purposes or with the intention of causing others harm is wrong.

Offline Somebody

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #499 on: August 13, 2016, 11:42:10 AM »
Forgot to address this.  Is it ok to lie if it helps you but hurts others? No. You should amend your lie in a way as to help you and not cause harm to another. I believe one has a moral responsibility to lie for the good of others too.