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Author Topic: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0  (Read 490390 times)

Offline welcomebackkotter

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #3180 on: December 05, 2016, 04:11:16 PM »

People are shite. Grown ass adults are shite. Foreigners pestering me "where are you from?" after I've already spoken enough to show an American midwestern accent and said I'M FROM THE USA. "Oh, but you look [insert Asian ethnicity here]." "Oh but where are you really from?" Cause apparently the default American is just a white person.

Things like this make me more than content to remain on my island. Honestly, the last two weekends I have dealt with this rubbish.  >:(

I often get asked, "Are you [European ethnicity]?"  and have no hurt feelings whatsoever.

This. People looking for fights take normal social interactions and turn them into some race relations microcosm. Instead of you know, just answering the question in the same way everyone else does.

There was this white guy on my football team back in high school. Going around we asked it and everyone answered normally. He responded Canadian and refused to state his ancestry because he identified as Canadian.

He was as much of a jackass as anyone of any other race that does the same thing.

Just normal social interaction for North Americans. Not answering this question is akin to telling someone how horrible your day is when they ask how you're doing. No one actually cares.

When I say I'm from America, I am answering "in the same way as everyone else does." When people press further, asking "where were you born?" I answer honestly and tell the city/state where I was born and raised. When someone presses further with "No, where are your parents from?" then it clicks that they're really asking "What's your ethnicity?"

If they "don't care" then why don't they just drop it? Or make their initial question clearer? "What's your ancestry/ethnicity/background?" or "What are your roots?"

There most certainly are people who are just genuinely interested in ancestry. I have no problem with that. But there are other people who seem to want to imply that I'm "not really American" even though we're supposed to be a "melting pot." Or better yet, the people who want to have "won" at guessing my ethnicity.  :rolleyes:

you talking this kinda thing yirj?




Offline yirj17

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #3181 on: December 05, 2016, 04:45:04 PM »
^YUP.

Offline Loki88

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #3182 on: December 05, 2016, 04:50:36 PM »

People are shite. Grown ass adults are shite. Foreigners pestering me "where are you from?" after I've already spoken enough to show an American midwestern accent and said I'M FROM THE USA. "Oh, but you look [insert Asian ethnicity here]." "Oh but where are you really from?" Cause apparently the default American is just a white person.

Things like this make me more than content to remain on my island. Honestly, the last two weekends I have dealt with this rubbish.  >:(

I often get asked, "Are you [European ethnicity]?"  and have no hurt feelings whatsoever.

This. People looking for fights take normal social interactions and turn them into some race relations microcosm. Instead of you know, just answering the question in the same way everyone else does.

There was this white guy on my football team back in high school. Going around we asked it and everyone answered normally. He responded Canadian and refused to state his ancestry because he identified as Canadian.

He was as much of a jackass as anyone of any other race that does the same thing.

Just normal social interaction for North Americans. Not answering this question is akin to telling someone how horrible your day is when they ask how you're doing. No one actually cares.

When I say I'm from America, I am answering "in the same way as everyone else does." When people press further, asking "where were you born?" I answer honestly and tell the city/state where I was born and raised. When someone presses further with "No, where are your parents from?" then it clicks that they're really asking "What's your ethnicity?"

If they "don't care" then why don't they just drop it? Or make their initial question clearer? "What's your ancestry/ethnicity/background?" or "What are your roots?"

There most certainly are people who are just genuinely interested in ancestry. I have no problem with that. But there are other people who seem to want to imply that I'm "not really American" even though we're supposed to be a "melting pot." Or better yet, the people who want to have "won" at guessing my ethnicity.  :rolleyes:

I think you are mistaken. I'm a white guy from a town where most of the people are white. We ask each other where we are from all the time. People answered based on their ancestry. Obviously since most of us were of European decent we answered with those. Ofc, we had our Indian tailback who was a beast and answered with that. Same for my best bud who was born in Iraq.

Saying you're from America is the equivalent of the guy I mentioned above saying he was Canadian.

My thought process: No shit Sherlock. Now, where are you from?

Being angry at the way the question is phrased is like being pissed about someone saying 'What's up?' That's just the way it's asked.

As to you're point on not caring. I ask people how they're doing all the time. This is a secret but I genuinely don't care. The same is true of the above question. It's just normal social banter among peers. Getting angry at it is like getting angry when someone greets you.

Also, wrt to the video. It was shot to draw attention to the 'issue.' But, when I see it I can't help but think of it as a caricature on someone with zero social skill refusing to answer a normal question.




Offline eggieguffer

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #3183 on: December 05, 2016, 04:55:46 PM »
Quote
I think you are mistaken. I'm a white guy from a town where most of the people are white. We ask each other where we are from all the time. People answered based on their ancestry. Obviously since most of us were of European decent we answered with those. Ofc, we had our Indian tailback who was a beast and answered with that. Same for my best bud who was born in Iraq.

Saying you're from America is the equivalent of the guy I mentioned above saying he was Canadian.

My thought process: No shit Sherlock. Now, where are you from?

Being angry at the way the question is phrased is like being pissed about someone saying 'What's up?' That's just the way it's asked.

As to you're point on not caring. I ask people how they're doing all the time. This is a secret but I genuinely don't care. The same is true of the above question. It's just normal social banter among peers. Getting angry at it is like getting angry when someone greets you.

Also, wrt to the video. It was shot to draw attention to the 'issue.' But, when I see it I can't help but think of it as a caricature on someone with zero social skill refusing to answer a normal question.


It's great that the woman in the video considers herself to be entirely American, just as long as she doesn't then get butt hurt when someone makes some offhanded comment against Korea in front of her. She can't have it both ways.

Offline What?What?

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #3184 on: December 05, 2016, 05:00:08 PM »

The problem isn't that people are curious about someone's ethnicity; the problem is when they refuse to accept the answer that they're given. If I tell someone that I'm American, and they go on to ask me where I'm really from (implying that I'm not actually American), that's when there's a problem.

Agreed.
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Offline yirj17

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #3185 on: December 05, 2016, 05:15:32 PM »

People are shite. Grown ass adults are shite. Foreigners pestering me "where are you from?" after I've already spoken enough to show an American midwestern accent and said I'M FROM THE USA. "Oh, but you look [insert Asian ethnicity here]." "Oh but where are you really from?" Cause apparently the default American is just a white person.

Things like this make me more than content to remain on my island. Honestly, the last two weekends I have dealt with this rubbish.  >:(

I often get asked, "Are you [European ethnicity]?"  and have no hurt feelings whatsoever.

This. People looking for fights take normal social interactions and turn them into some race relations microcosm. Instead of you know, just answering the question in the same way everyone else does.

There was this white guy on my football team back in high school. Going around we asked it and everyone answered normally. He responded Canadian and refused to state his ancestry because he identified as Canadian.

He was as much of a jackass as anyone of any other race that does the same thing.

Just normal social interaction for North Americans. Not answering this question is akin to telling someone how horrible your day is when they ask how you're doing. No one actually cares.

When I say I'm from America, I am answering "in the same way as everyone else does." When people press further, asking "where were you born?" I answer honestly and tell the city/state where I was born and raised. When someone presses further with "No, where are your parents from?" then it clicks that they're really asking "What's your ethnicity?"

If they "don't care" then why don't they just drop it? Or make their initial question clearer? "What's your ancestry/ethnicity/background?" or "What are your roots?"

There most certainly are people who are just genuinely interested in ancestry. I have no problem with that. But there are other people who seem to want to imply that I'm "not really American" even though we're supposed to be a "melting pot." Or better yet, the people who want to have "won" at guessing my ethnicity.  :rolleyes:

I think you are mistaken. I'm a white guy from a town where most of the people are white. We ask each other where we are from all the time. People answered based on their ancestry. Obviously since most of us were of European decent we answered with those. Ofc, we had our Indian tailback who was a beast and answered with that. Same for my best bud who was born in Iraq.

Saying you're from America is the equivalent of the guy I mentioned above saying he was Canadian.

My thought process: No shit Sherlock. Now, where are you from?

Being angry at the way the question is phrased is like being pissed about someone saying 'What's up?' That's just the way it's asked.

As to you're point on not caring. I ask people how they're doing all the time. This is a secret but I genuinely don't care. The same is true of the above question. It's just normal social banter among peers. Getting angry at it is like getting angry when someone greets you.

Also, wrt to the video. It was shot to draw attention to the 'issue.' But, when I see it I can't help but think of it as a caricature on someone with zero social skill refusing to answer a normal question.

I think we're both mistaken. Our towns and upbringing are different.

Where I grew up, everyone "white" got a pass and just called themselves American and nobody questioned it but when it came to me, it was nah, where you really from? I feel like in Canada/where you're from, people actually realize that everyone's lineage hails from somewhere, whereas in my upbringing people just liked pointing out that I was different. Whenever I returned the question, I just got, "Oh, I'm American." Even though most of them most likely had some European ancestry.

The only phrasing I really take issue with is "What are you?" and generally only because it's typically accompanied with a tone of voice that doesn't imply a friendly question.

Connotation is everything.

Offline #basedcowboyshirt

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #3186 on: December 05, 2016, 05:16:20 PM »
And if you look in this topic, you will see a lot of white males who like to argue.

Offline yirj17

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #3187 on: December 05, 2016, 05:21:33 PM »
And if you look in this topic, you will see a lot of white males who like to argue.

 :laugh: :laugh:

I feel like there's a bit of "it didn't happen to me so it must not be true/you must be mistaken."

But that video really hits home for me and my experiences and does with a lot of my American friends who have Asian ancestry. The male character depicted in that video sadly does exist, to an extent.

Offline welcomebackkotter

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #3188 on: December 05, 2016, 05:21:52 PM »
And if you look in this topic, you will see a lot of white males who like to argue.

No we don't

Offline yirgacheffe

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #3189 on: December 05, 2016, 05:21:57 PM »

People are shite. Grown ass adults are shite. Foreigners pestering me "where are you from?" after I've already spoken enough to show an American midwestern accent and said I'M FROM THE USA. "Oh, but you look [insert Asian ethnicity here]." "Oh but where are you really from?" Cause apparently the default American is just a white person.

Things like this make me more than content to remain on my island. Honestly, the last two weekends I have dealt with this rubbish.  >:(

I often get asked, "Are you [European ethnicity]?"  and have no hurt feelings whatsoever.

This. People looking for fights take normal social interactions and turn them into some race relations microcosm. Instead of you know, just answering the question in the same way everyone else does.

There was this white guy on my football team back in high school. Going around we asked it and everyone answered normally. He responded Canadian and refused to state his ancestry because he identified as Canadian.

He was as much of a jackass as anyone of any other race that does the same thing.

Just normal social interaction for North Americans. Not answering this question is akin to telling someone how horrible your day is when they ask how you're doing. No one actually cares.

When I say I'm from America, I am answering "in the same way as everyone else does." When people press further, asking "where were you born?" I answer honestly and tell the city/state where I was born and raised. When someone presses further with "No, where are your parents from?" then it clicks that they're really asking "What's your ethnicity?"

If they "don't care" then why don't they just drop it? Or make their initial question clearer? "What's your ancestry/ethnicity/background?" or "What are your roots?"

There most certainly are people who are just genuinely interested in ancestry. I have no problem with that. But there are other people who seem to want to imply that I'm "not really American" even though we're supposed to be a "melting pot." Or better yet, the people who want to have "won" at guessing my ethnicity.  :rolleyes:

I think you are mistaken. I'm a white guy from a town where most of the people are white. We ask each other where we are from all the time. People answered based on their ancestry. Obviously since most of us were of European decent we answered with those. Ofc, we had our Indian tailback who was a beast and answered with that. Same for my best bud who was born in Iraq.

Saying you're from America is the equivalent of the guy I mentioned above saying he was Canadian.

My thought process: No shit Sherlock. Now, where are you from?

Being angry at the way the question is phrased is like being pissed about someone saying 'What's up?' That's just the way it's asked.

As to you're point on not caring. I ask people how they're doing all the time. This is a secret but I genuinely don't care. The same is true of the above question. It's just normal social banter among peers. Getting angry at it is like getting angry when someone greets you.

Also, wrt to the video. It was shot to draw attention to the 'issue.' But, when I see it I can't help but think of it as a caricature on someone with zero social skill refusing to answer a normal question.

Back home, if I ask another person where they're from (white, black, asian, hispanic, doesn't matter), they almost never say a country that's not "America" unless they actually came from that other country. If I get asked this question while in Korea, I answer "America." If I get asked back home, I answer with my state of residence, just like most other people. I've yet to meet an American- or Canadian-born person answer "Germany" or "France" etc. to the question "Where are you from?" I guess our experiences just differ.

Offline The Arm

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #3190 on: December 05, 2016, 05:25:29 PM »
I feel like I'm reading a Buzzfeed video script  :laugh:

Offline #basedcowboyshirt

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #3191 on: December 05, 2016, 05:28:38 PM »
I feel like I'm reading a Buzzfeed video script  :laugh:

"This quiz can guess your age and ethnicity based on your favourite style of potato and how little you can relate to the perspectives of other people"

Offline sevenpm

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #3192 on: December 05, 2016, 05:30:56 PM »
this place is full of white guys who just can't accept that they lack experience in certain areas to make worthwhile opinions on certain topics. they think everything has to relate back to something they've experienced. stop making false equivalencies. despite what your upbringing has told you, you don't know everything and you don't get a say in everything.


why the hell does a white american/canadian/whatever, think his or her opinion on what the Asian diaspora experience matters whatsoever?  why do they think they can relate?


you can't relate. your hubris is at insane levels to think your opinion needs to be expressed. your life doesn't have the same layers. just accept it and move the **** on.


Offline CO2

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #3193 on: December 05, 2016, 05:32:59 PM »
And if you look in this topic, you will see a lot of white males who like to argue.

No we don't

Ignoring isnít the same as ignorance, you have to work at it.

Offline #basedcowboyshirt

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #3194 on: December 05, 2016, 05:34:28 PM »
this place is full of white guys who just can't accept that they lack experience in certain areas to make worthwhile opinions on certain topics. they think everything has to relate back to something they've experienced. stop making false equivalencies. despite what your upbringing has told you, you don't know everything and you don't get a say in everything.


why the hell does a white american/canadian/whatever, think his or her opinion on what the Asian diaspora experience matters whatsoever?  why do they think they can relate?


you can't relate. your hubris is at insane levels to think your opinion needs to be expressed. your life doesn't have the same layers. just accept it and move the **** on.

sevenpm is hot fire right now.

Slayyyyyy!



Offline JNM

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #3195 on: December 05, 2016, 05:38:05 PM »
If I really wanted an argument, I would tell a Korean friend that he/she must have had some Mongol, Chinese, or Japanese heritage.


Offline CO2

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #3196 on: December 05, 2016, 05:40:21 PM »
this place is full of white guys who just can't accept that they lack experience in certain areas to make worthwhile opinions on certain topics. they think everything has to relate back to something they've experienced. stop making false equivalencies. despite what your upbringing has told you, you don't know everything and you don't get a say in everything.


why the hell does a white american/canadian/whatever, think his or her opinion on what the Asian diaspora experience matters whatsoever?  why do they think they can relate?


you can't relate. your hubris is at insane levels to think your opinion needs to be expressed. your life doesn't have the same layers. just accept it and move the **** on.

Who says relate? I'm happy when people ask me my background. Quarter Ukrainian, eighth Italian, Quarter Native Canadian and the rest is a smattering of the British Isles.

I imagine it's annoying to be asked where you are "really from," but talking about ourselves and people being interested in you is a good thing.
Ignoring isnít the same as ignorance, you have to work at it.

Offline grey

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #3197 on: December 05, 2016, 05:45:58 PM »

The problem isn't that people are curious about someone's ethnicity; the problem is when they refuse to accept the answer that they're given. If I tell someone that I'm American, and they go on to ask me where I'm really from (implying that I'm not actually American), that's when there's a problem.

Agreed.

Double agree. If you consider yourself X, then that is what you should answer. That you don't answer in the way that the other person wants is not your concern. Maybe you don't want to be rude and are evading the question.

If someone asks me how much I make, I will not say that it's none of their business. I'd say something like I'm doing alright (financially speaking). If they ask again I might say something like I'm happy to have what I have, as many are not in a good a position as me. If they ask a third time, I may have reached my politeness threshold and speak to them like a child who doesn't know any better.
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Offline yirj17

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #3198 on: December 05, 2016, 05:48:35 PM »
Context is important. Example: college. When people ask where you're from, at my school the typical answer was [city/town/other state]. There are those who press further. If people don't care about the answer, why do some ask additional questions? If a person asks nicely (however awkwardly it may be phrased, talking vocal tone here), then I don't mind continuing the conversation in that vein. If a person asks aggressively, I feel disinclined to continue conversing. Thing is, a good lot of the people who want to know where I'm "really from" don't care to go beyond getting an answer that isn't in America and are generally the same type of people who respond "I'm 'just' American."

Another context: Korea. When people ask where you're from, do you say [European country] or do you say [Canada/America/wherever]? I respond that I'm from America because that's where I was born and raised. Most people accept this response, others don't. There are people who aggressively pursue a different answer.

I am not writing off anyone who doesn't know "PC" language. The phrase "Where are you from?" can easily be said in a nice way but can also be said in a less than nice way.

As for caucasian people who experience similar things when in countries other than 'murica/Canada... well, welcome to empathy.

Offline yirj17

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Re: RANTING/VENTING MEGATHREAD 3.0
« Reply #3199 on: December 05, 2016, 05:51:20 PM »

The problem isn't that people are curious about someone's ethnicity; the problem is when they refuse to accept the answer that they're given. If I tell someone that I'm American, and they go on to ask me where I'm really from (implying that I'm not actually American), that's when there's a problem.

Agreed.

Double agree. If you consider yourself X, then that is what you should answer. That you don't answer in the way that the other person wants is not your concern. Maybe you don't want to be rude and are evading the question.

If someone asks me how much I make, I will not say that it's none of their business. I'd say something like I'm doing alright (financially speaking). If they ask again I might say something like I'm happy to have what I have, as many are not in a good a position as me. If they ask a third time, I may have reached my politeness threshold and speak to them like a child who doesn't know any better.

Yes. I don't know why people think I am obligated to answer in a certain way or that my chosen response is somehow invalid.

 

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