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Author Topic: RAVING/HAPPY SH!T MEGATHREAD  (Read 195912 times)

Offline flyingspider

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Re: RAVING/HAPPY SH!T MEGATHREAD
« Reply #1060 on: October 12, 2016, 01:52:13 PM »
I thought the "What do you think?" chapter would be great for a debate, and while my coteacher wasn't sure if they could do it I managed to talk her into it. The class went really well and the students seemed to have fun discussing our topic. They have a decent vocabulary but it's tough to get them to do anything other than parrot the book, so I was really pleased with how the lesson went.

Offline moonbrie

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Re: RAVING/HAPPY SH!T MEGATHREAD
« Reply #1061 on: October 12, 2016, 02:11:50 PM »
Wednesday is language exchange day and my fave part of the work week! :)
Not to be all creepy and prying, but what happened with the wedding your date-friend asked you to?
That's a story for the ranting thread but I shall tell. Was good for a while. Had a few dates and thought it was going well. We live on opposite sides of the country and I was going to Seoul a lot. I have pretty bad anxiety about new people I'm dating so on date...4? I asked him if this was going anywhere or if it was just a casual thing (fine with either just wanted to get a feel for what I was getting myself into). He told me he wasn't ready to have a relationship just yet but wed talk about it again in a few weeks(which I was cool with). He then stopped speaking to me (still follows me on insta and on my fb..) After introducing me to his friends and such too...anyway. Haven't spoken to him in about a week or so...:( Pretty sure its done...

Has happened to me 4 times since being here in Korea. All women I have known for 6months - a year. Have hung out in person a lot. And the moment I ask them on a date, I get blocked and never hear from them again. :/ What's wrong with just saying: "no thanks, but lets stay friends!"
Sorry to hear that, I know that feeling well. :/ Makes me feel really bad about myself when it happens to me. :/

I'm so timid about asking people out for that reason. A lot of people take any indication of interest as like "I've been pining after you for months and I can't take it if you turn me down!"

Like, no, sure I'll be bummed out if you turn me down but I like you as a person either way. I can handle rejection like an adult.

Having said that though, I totally understand why people, especially women, feel that way. There are an unfortunate number of dudes who take "let's just stay friends" as "this is my chance to slowly needle myself into her heart" not "alright, I'll be chill and get over it."

Fun related story: I went on a date with a guy once when I was maybe 19, but only one date. I avoided talking to him for a bit but eventually told him the (harsh) reason I wasn't into him: He smoked like a chimney and absolutely reeked of smoke. I smoke myself, even, but he smoked at least a pack or two a day and...well, if you've ever been around someone like that, you know the smell I'm talking about. We ran in similar circles and two years later we both went to the same friend's birthday celebration. He told me about how my rejection of him had helped him quit smoking and was very affectionate with me the whole night... despite the fact that I was there with my boyfriend who I'd been dating for a year and a half at that point. He even did that heart hand thing to me as I was leaving and tried to get me to stay longer. ._.;

Offline krissyboo75

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Re: RAVING/HAPPY SH!T MEGATHREAD
« Reply #1062 on: October 12, 2016, 02:29:32 PM »
Wednesday is language exchange day and my fave part of the work week! :)
Not to be all creepy and prying, but what happened with the wedding your date-friend asked you to?
That's a story for the ranting thread but I shall tell. Was good for a while. Had a few dates and thought it was going well. We live on opposite sides of the country and I was going to Seoul a lot. I have pretty bad anxiety about new people I'm dating so on date...4? I asked him if this was going anywhere or if it was just a casual thing (fine with either just wanted to get a feel for what I was getting myself into). He told me he wasn't ready to have a relationship just yet but wed talk about it again in a few weeks(which I was cool with). He then stopped speaking to me (still follows me on insta and on my fb..) After introducing me to his friends and such too...anyway. Haven't spoken to him in about a week or so...:( Pretty sure its done...

Has happened to me 4 times since being here in Korea. All women I have known for 6months - a year. Have hung out in person a lot. And the moment I ask them on a date, I get blocked and never hear from them again. :/ What's wrong with just saying: "no thanks, but lets stay friends!"
Sorry to hear that, I know that feeling well. :/ Makes me feel really bad about myself when it happens to me. :/
Well at least its not just the dudes... I gave him every opportunity to be honest either way. Its really easy to just be like "nah". Cuz at least I get an idea of whats going on. And I've got people being like "you pushed him", but nah he could have just told me. Maybe there was a communication mishap but yeah. Sorry to hear about your experience too.

Offline yirgacheffe

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Re: RAVING/HAPPY SH!T MEGATHREAD
« Reply #1063 on: October 12, 2016, 02:33:55 PM »
Wednesday is language exchange day and my fave part of the work week! :)
Not to be all creepy and prying, but what happened with the wedding your date-friend asked you to?
That's a story for the ranting thread but I shall tell. Was good for a while. Had a few dates and thought it was going well. We live on opposite sides of the country and I was going to Seoul a lot. I have pretty bad anxiety about new people I'm dating so on date...4? I asked him if this was going anywhere or if it was just a casual thing (fine with either just wanted to get a feel for what I was getting myself into). He told me he wasn't ready to have a relationship just yet but wed talk about it again in a few weeks(which I was cool with). He then stopped speaking to me (still follows me on insta and on my fb..) After introducing me to his friends and such too...anyway. Haven't spoken to him in about a week or so...:( Pretty sure its done...

Has happened to me 4 times since being here in Korea. All women I have known for 6months - a year. Have hung out in person a lot. And the moment I ask them on a date, I get blocked and never hear from them again. :/ What's wrong with just saying: "no thanks, but lets stay friends!"
Sorry to hear that, I know that feeling well. :/ Makes me feel really bad about myself when it happens to me. :/
Well at least its not just the dudes... I gave him every opportunity to be honest either way. Its really easy to just be like "nah". Cuz at least I get an idea of whats going on. And I've got people being like "you pushed him", but nah he could have just told me. Maybe there was a communication mishap but yeah. Sorry to hear about your experience too.

I'm sorry to hear that :sad: I have noticed, though, that Korean guys seem to be unable to be honest about relationships when it comes to bad news. My ex broke up with me about a year ago via kakao... We'd been together for a few years so that pissed me off to put it mildly.

Online yirj17

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Re: RAVING/HAPPY SH!T MEGATHREAD
« Reply #1064 on: October 12, 2016, 02:35:13 PM »
I had a friend in college who very briefly (like, maybe a week?) dated a Korean international student. Her friends pressured her into it, but ultimately she decided she definitely wasn't interested and broke it off.

In my opinion, the dude way overreacted--he was apparently so "heartbroken" and upset that her friends were afraid he was going to commit suicide. She had a falling out with those friends because they ended up taking the guy's side (he was being super emotional about it and she's not the type to openly display her emotions. She's far from heartless, but it was also hardly a week and she wasn't that into the guy).

So maybe those women who block/drop instead of making friends are afraid of that kind of reaction and just disappear? Or it might be simpler and they just think it's too awkward (not excusing the rudeness of it, though there are cases of crazy persons who can not accept "no" for an answer so maybe they fear that too).

They might also just think it's not possible to just be friends if one side has expressed interest. They might also just be immature.

Offline Kayos

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Re: RAVING/HAPPY SH!T MEGATHREAD
« Reply #1065 on: October 12, 2016, 02:41:47 PM »
Wednesday is language exchange day and my fave part of the work week! :)
Not to be all creepy and prying, but what happened with the wedding your date-friend asked you to?
That's a story for the ranting thread but I shall tell. Was good for a while. Had a few dates and thought it was going well. We live on opposite sides of the country and I was going to Seoul a lot. I have pretty bad anxiety about new people I'm dating so on date...4? I asked him if this was going anywhere or if it was just a casual thing (fine with either just wanted to get a feel for what I was getting myself into). He told me he wasn't ready to have a relationship just yet but wed talk about it again in a few weeks(which I was cool with). He then stopped speaking to me (still follows me on insta and on my fb..) After introducing me to his friends and such too...anyway. Haven't spoken to him in about a week or so...:( Pretty sure its done...

Has happened to me 4 times since being here in Korea. All women I have known for 6months - a year. Have hung out in person a lot. And the moment I ask them on a date, I get blocked and never hear from them again. :/ What's wrong with just saying: "no thanks, but lets stay friends!"
Sorry to hear that, I know that feeling well. :/ Makes me feel really bad about myself when it happens to me. :/

I'm so timid about asking people out for that reason. A lot of people take any indication of interest as like "I've been pining after you for months and I can't take it if you turn me down!"

Like, no, sure I'll be bummed out if you turn me down but I like you as a person either way. I can handle rejection like an adult.

Having said that though, I totally understand why people, especially women, feel that way. There are an unfortunate number of dudes who take "let's just stay friends" as "this is my chance to slowly needle myself into her heart" not "alright, I'll be chill and get over it."

Fun related story: I went on a date with a guy once when I was maybe 19, but only one date. I avoided talking to him for a bit but eventually told him the (harsh) reason I wasn't into him: He smoked like a chimney and absolutely reeked of smoke. I smoke myself, even, but he smoked at least a pack or two a day and...well, if you've ever been around someone like that, you know the smell I'm talking about. We ran in similar circles and two years later we both went to the same friend's birthday celebration. He told me about how my rejection of him had helped him quit smoking and was very affectionate with me the whole night... despite the fact that I was there with my boyfriend who I'd been dating for a year and a half at that point. He even did that heart hand thing to me as I was leaving and tried to get me to stay longer. ._.;

I understand being timid about it. I'm actually too scared to ask girls out back in NZD now, due to terrible experiences with rejection. I've asked girls out for dinner and have: been spit on, publicly ridiculed (like you think you are good enough for me?! - type thing, but a little worse, and got people around to chime in), one girl even got a male friend of hers, to beat the crap out of me for asking her out to dinner. This is why I've never even been on a date before. :/ I'm still terrified of rejection, but being away from NZ has helped me with it - dunno why either. haha.

I can understand that. Personally, if I were rejected in a polite way, I'd just go back to how things were before I asked, maybe a bit of distance at first to get over the rejection though. I think some guys think "She doesn't know me well enough to know if she would want to date me or not." If it was some random you didn't really know, I can understand wanting to cut them out, but with a person you have been friends with for awhile.. A polite rejection and going back to being friends should be fine. Usually if the guy, in this scenario, doesn't really talk with you anymore, he was probably only looking to date in the first place.

Why would he try that if he knew you were taken? O.o
I can understand making a change based on that rejection. One US girl I used to like, she also told me she liked me, there was a huge distance though, but we'd video chat on skype on a daily basis. She was really pretty, and gave me the motivation to lose weight. It's been 4 - 5 years since then, I've lost 20KG, and am still trying to lose another 10 - 15KG.
However, if I ran into her, I'd probably thank her for the motivation and have a chat. I wouldn't try to ask her out or anything, esp if she had a boyfriend.

It's cool that you got him to quit smoking though!

Offline HaLo3

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Re: RAVING/HAPPY SH!T MEGATHREAD
« Reply #1066 on: October 12, 2016, 02:45:30 PM »
Wednesday is language exchange day and my fave part of the work week! :)
Not to be all creepy and prying, but what happened with the wedding your date-friend asked you to?
That's a story for the ranting thread but I shall tell. Was good for a while. Had a few dates and thought it was going well. We live on opposite sides of the country and I was going to Seoul a lot. I have pretty bad anxiety about new people I'm dating so on date...4? I asked him if this was going anywhere or if it was just a casual thing (fine with either just wanted to get a feel for what I was getting myself into). He told me he wasn't ready to have a relationship just yet but wed talk about it again in a few weeks(which I was cool with). He then stopped speaking to me (still follows me on insta and on my fb..) After introducing me to his friends and such too...anyway. Haven't spoken to him in about a week or so...:( Pretty sure its done...

Has happened to me 4 times since being here in Korea. All women I have known for 6months - a year. Have hung out in person a lot. And the moment I ask them on a date, I get blocked and never hear from them again. :/ What's wrong with just saying: "no thanks, but lets stay friends!"
Sorry to hear that, I know that feeling well. :/ Makes me feel really bad about myself when it happens to me. :/
Well at least its not just the dudes... I gave him every opportunity to be honest either way. Its really easy to just be like "nah". Cuz at least I get an idea of whats going on. And I've got people being like "you pushed him", but nah he could have just told me. Maybe there was a communication mishap but yeah. Sorry to hear about your experience too.

I'm sorry to hear that :sad: I have noticed, though, that Korean guys seem to be unable to be honest about relationships when it comes to bad news. My ex broke up with me about a year ago via kakao... We'd been together for a few years so that pissed me off to put it mildly.
Woah. A few years and he couldn't even do it proper? That woulda made me just so incredibly upset.

@yirj17 I had a friend that dated a Korean guy here and after two weeks asked her to move in with him cuz he loved her so much. Very opposite, but still waaaay emotional.

Online yirj17

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Re: RAVING/HAPPY SH!T MEGATHREAD
« Reply #1067 on: October 12, 2016, 02:49:06 PM »
@Kayos: WTF. That's all horrid and clearly those females are not worth anyone's time (though I'm sorry you had to find out in such ridiculous ways). Geezus  :huh:

Offline HaLo3

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Re: RAVING/HAPPY SH!T MEGATHREAD
« Reply #1068 on: October 12, 2016, 02:50:13 PM »
I understand being timid about it. I'm actually too scared to ask girls out back in NZD now, due to terrible experiences with rejection. I've asked girls out for dinner and have: been spit on, publicly ridiculed (like you think you are good enough for me?! - type thing, but a little worse, and got people around to chime in), one girl even got a male friend of hers, to beat the crap out of me for asking her out to dinner. This is why I've never even been on a date before. :/ I'm still terrified of rejection, but being away from NZ has helped me with it - dunno why either. haha.
Holy crap, that's horrifying. Is that sort of thing common in NZ? That really is awful, I'm sorry. I don't blame you for being timid about asking girls out.

Offline Kayos

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Re: RAVING/HAPPY SH!T MEGATHREAD
« Reply #1069 on: October 12, 2016, 02:59:28 PM »
@Kayos: WTF. That's all horrid and clearly those females are not worth anyone's time (though I'm sorry you had to find out in such ridiculous ways). Geezus  :huh:

Thanks. It's okay, in those cases, it was better to find out sooner rather than later than later, that they weren't going to be worth the time / effort - except for the 1 time I got beaten up, as it was pretty bad and had to miss a week and a half of work due to the injuries.

I understand being timid about it. I'm actually too scared to ask girls out back in NZD now, due to terrible experiences with rejection. I've asked girls out for dinner and have: been spit on, publicly ridiculed (like you think you are good enough for me?! - type thing, but a little worse, and got people around to chime in), one girl even got a male friend of hers, to beat the crap out of me for asking her out to dinner. This is why I've never even been on a date before. :/ I'm still terrified of rejection, but being away from NZ has helped me with it - dunno why either. haha.
Holy crap, that's horrifying. Is that sort of thing common in NZ? That really is awful, I'm sorry. I don't blame you for being timid about asking girls out.

Not common from what I am aware of. All my friends have been rejected like adults, even in high school. Actually, I haven't heard of anyone having rejection issues like that before. :/

Offline yirgacheffe

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Re: RAVING/HAPPY SH!T MEGATHREAD
« Reply #1070 on: October 12, 2016, 03:12:07 PM »
@Kayos: WTF. That's all horrid and clearly those females are not worth anyone's time (though I'm sorry you had to find out in such ridiculous ways). Geezus  :huh:

Thanks. It's okay, in those cases, it was better to find out sooner rather than later than later, that they weren't going to be worth the time / effort - except for the 1 time I got beaten up, as it was pretty bad and had to miss a week and a half of work due to the injuries.

I understand being timid about it. I'm actually too scared to ask girls out back in NZD now, due to terrible experiences with rejection. I've asked girls out for dinner and have: been spit on, publicly ridiculed (like you think you are good enough for me?! - type thing, but a little worse, and got people around to chime in), one girl even got a male friend of hers, to beat the crap out of me for asking her out to dinner. This is why I've never even been on a date before. :/ I'm still terrified of rejection, but being away from NZ has helped me with it - dunno why either. haha.
Holy crap, that's horrifying. Is that sort of thing common in NZ? That really is awful, I'm sorry. I don't blame you for being timid about asking girls out.

Not common from what I am aware of. All my friends have been rejected like adults, even in high school. Actually, I haven't heard of anyone having rejection issues like that before. :/

I'm going to echo the others here but I'm sorry for what happened to you. Literally, as I read your post, my face looked like this: :huh: Those people were lower than scum and you definitely did not deserve that.

Offline yirgacheffe

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Re: RAVING/HAPPY SH!T MEGATHREAD
« Reply #1071 on: October 12, 2016, 03:14:29 PM »
My ex broke up with me about a year ago via kakao... We'd been together for a few years so that pissed me off to put it mildly.
Woah. A few years and he couldn't even do it proper? That woulda made me just so incredibly upset.

Yeah, I was really mad. The break-up itself wasn't that bad, although obviously I was sad for a while, but I feel like I deserved to at least be broken up with in person. :laugh:

Offline moonbrie

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Re: RAVING/HAPPY SH!T MEGATHREAD
« Reply #1072 on: October 12, 2016, 03:16:39 PM »
I understand being timid about it. I'm actually too scared to ask girls out back in NZD now, due to terrible experiences with rejection. I've asked girls out for dinner and have: been spit on, publicly ridiculed (like you think you are good enough for me?! - type thing, but a little worse, and got people around to chime in), one girl even got a male friend of hers, to beat the crap out of me for asking her out to dinner. This is why I've never even been on a date before. :/ I'm still terrified of rejection, but being away from NZ has helped me with it - dunno why either. haha.
Holy crap, that's horrifying. Is that sort of thing common in NZ? That really is awful, I'm sorry. I don't blame you for being timid about asking girls out.

Yeah, I'd have serious fear of rejection in that case too!! Christ

Offline moonbrie

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Re: RAVING/HAPPY SH!T MEGATHREAD
« Reply #1073 on: October 12, 2016, 03:28:55 PM »
Actually I've been wondering if I should say anything to this one guy I know... he's very flirty with me, especially by Korean standards, but his English speaking ability is extremely low (listening is better, I found recently that we could have a half-decent conversation with me speaking English and him, Korean). He's so cute but I have no idea what you even say in that kind of situation haha!

Offline yirgacheffe

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Re: RAVING/HAPPY SH!T MEGATHREAD
« Reply #1074 on: October 12, 2016, 03:51:58 PM »
Actually I've been wondering if I should say anything to this one guy I know... he's very flirty with me, especially by Korean standards, but his English speaking ability is extremely low (listening is better, I found recently that we could have a half-decent conversation with me speaking English and him, Korean). He's so cute but I have no idea what you even say in that kind of situation haha!

I'm a really skeptical / cynical person, so ignore me if you want, but to me it sounds like he's trying to use you. He probably knows he's cute and is using that to his advantage.

On the other hand, he could just genuinely be interested in you, but again, I'm not the trusting type. :laugh: :laugh:

Offline moonbrie

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Re: RAVING/HAPPY SH!T MEGATHREAD
« Reply #1075 on: October 13, 2016, 07:40:18 AM »
Actually I've been wondering if I should say anything to this one guy I know... he's very flirty with me, especially by Korean standards, but his English speaking ability is extremely low (listening is better, I found recently that we could have a half-decent conversation with me speaking English and him, Korean). He's so cute but I have no idea what you even say in that kind of situation haha!

I'm a really skeptical / cynical person, so ignore me if you want, but to me it sounds like he's trying to use you. He probably knows he's cute and is using that to his advantage.

On the other hand, he could just genuinely be interested in you, but again, I'm not the trusting type. :laugh: :laugh:

I'm not sure if he's like the cutest by traditional standards. But he hasn't asked me to teach him English so... hah

Offline Kayos

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Re: RAVING/HAPPY SH!T MEGATHREAD
« Reply #1076 on: October 13, 2016, 08:16:34 AM »
@Kayos: WTF. That's all horrid and clearly those females are not worth anyone's time (though I'm sorry you had to find out in such ridiculous ways). Geezus  :huh:

Thanks. It's okay, in those cases, it was better to find out sooner rather than later than later, that they weren't going to be worth the time / effort - except for the 1 time I got beaten up, as it was pretty bad and had to miss a week and a half of work due to the injuries.

I understand being timid about it. I'm actually too scared to ask girls out back in NZD now, due to terrible experiences with rejection. I've asked girls out for dinner and have: been spit on, publicly ridiculed (like you think you are good enough for me?! - type thing, but a little worse, and got people around to chime in), one girl even got a male friend of hers, to beat the crap out of me for asking her out to dinner. This is why I've never even been on a date before. :/ I'm still terrified of rejection, but being away from NZ has helped me with it - dunno why either. haha.
Holy crap, that's horrifying. Is that sort of thing common in NZ? That really is awful, I'm sorry. I don't blame you for being timid about asking girls out.

Not common from what I am aware of. All my friends have been rejected like adults, even in high school. Actually, I haven't heard of anyone having rejection issues like that before. :/

I'm going to echo the others here but I'm sorry for what happened to you. Literally, as I read your post, my face looked like this: :huh: Those people were lower than scum and you definitely did not deserve that.

Cheers. That is pretty much my opinion of them as well. However, to keep this thread on happy thoughts, I actually have my first ever date on Saturday! I'm excited! I just hope I don't have to postpone again. We planned it for 2 weeks ago, but I got really sick the day before and was sick for a few days; and then last week she got sick. We were both fine with postponing, but she got really angry that we had to twice.
So things can only go up from here! :D

Offline Kayos

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Re: RAVING/HAPPY SH!T MEGATHREAD
« Reply #1077 on: October 13, 2016, 08:20:37 AM »
My ex broke up with me about a year ago via kakao... We'd been together for a few years so that pissed me off to put it mildly.
Woah. A few years and he couldn't even do it proper? That woulda made me just so incredibly upset.

Yeah, I was really mad. The break-up itself wasn't that bad, although obviously I was sad for a while, but I feel like I deserved to at least be broken up with in person. :laugh:

That's one thing I'm worried about if it comes to me needing to break up with someone. I am not good with confrontation, so I'm worried I would do it like that. I think everyone deserves to have it done in person though! More so if you have been together for a decent amount of time.
Sorry it was done like that!

Offline Kayos

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Re: RAVING/HAPPY SH!T MEGATHREAD
« Reply #1078 on: October 13, 2016, 08:21:39 AM »
Actually I've been wondering if I should say anything to this one guy I know... he's very flirty with me, especially by Korean standards, but his English speaking ability is extremely low (listening is better, I found recently that we could have a half-decent conversation with me speaking English and him, Korean). He's so cute but I have no idea what you even say in that kind of situation haha!

I'm a really skeptical / cynical person, so ignore me if you want, but to me it sounds like he's trying to use you. He probably knows he's cute and is using that to his advantage.

On the other hand, he could just genuinely be interested in you, but again, I'm not the trusting type. :laugh: :laugh:

I'm not sure if he's like the cutest by traditional standards. But he hasn't asked me to teach him English so... hah

Not yet anyway. :P (kidding)

Offline lazerbullet

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Re: RAVING/HAPPY SH!T MEGATHREAD
« Reply #1079 on: October 13, 2016, 08:25:15 AM »

I understand being timid about it. I'm actually too scared to ask girls out back in NZD now, due to terrible experiences with rejection. I've asked girls out for dinner and have: been spit on, publicly ridiculed (like you think you are good enough for me?! - type thing, but a little worse, and got people around to chime in), one girl even got a male friend of hers, to beat the crap out of me for asking her out to dinner. This is why I've never even been on a date before. :/ I'm still terrified of rejection, but being away from NZ has helped me with it - dunno why either. haha.


Err ... am I the only one who feels like there's more to these rejections than Kayos lets on?