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Author Topic: Bringing a spouse abroad.  (Read 3872 times)

Offline doolin.nc

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Bringing a spouse abroad.
« on: June 18, 2011, 12:29:58 PM »
This really isn't for me, as I'm still in college, have no girlfriend and no spouse, but my close friend is graduating soon and she is considering teaching in Korea (or Japan). She's also engaged to be married. She has looked around and asked some questions but it seems the answer she is looking for is slightly ambiguous or hard to find.

What she wants to know is, will a program pay for her husband to come abroad with her and live with her if HE is NOT teaching? Do they have to sign up together? Sorry if that's confusing but he will not be teaching (I'm assuming). I actually have no idea what his plans are. I'm not his friend and I haven't asked her.

Thanks.

Offline pak yu man

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Re: Bringing a spouse abroad.
« Reply #1 on: June 18, 2011, 12:34:12 PM »
I doubt anyone would pay for the spouce to travel and live with 'your friend'.

Does the spouce know what he will be getting into?  Sitting around all day sounds awesome then a month or two later you go crazy.  Some people will think I'm nuts, but my 5 months vacation gets to me sometime (but I'm married with kids so I can't travel every vacation).  He will go crazy with boredom, they will fight because they will be living in a small single apt and there will be little to no entertainment for him in English.   Tell your friend this is a terrible idea and my end the relationship.

Offline doolin.nc

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Re: Bringing a spouse abroad.
« Reply #2 on: June 18, 2011, 12:40:01 PM »
I doubt anyone would pay for the spouce to travel and live with 'your friend'.

Does the spouce know what he will be getting into?  Sitting around all day sounds awesome then a month or two later you go crazy.  Some people will think I'm nuts, but my 5 months vacation gets to me sometime (but I'm married with kids so I can't travel every vacation).  He will go crazy with boredom, they will fight because they will be living in a small single apt and there will be little to no entertainment for him in English.   Tell your friend this is a terrible idea and my end the relationship.

Actually it really is my friend, if that's what you're getting at...

I completely agree with you, anyway. I'm pretty sure that would drive anyone crazy and has a big potential to split anyone. I will definitely advise as I hadn't thought of it like that. Seriously this was just something we were just talking about on a whim. I'm the reason she wants to go teach because I've been telling her my own plans but yeah.

I doubt there's any other work available that he could do (legally) anyway.

Offline pak yu man

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Re: Bringing a spouse abroad.
« Reply #3 on: June 18, 2011, 12:50:29 PM »
I've been here 13 years and I've seen this thing before.  It's worse with the guy staying home and living off the woman.  (machoness and sexist I know, but it's true).  The last one was the dude who followed his woman to classes, carried her books for her and waited outside her classroom.  Lamest thing I ever saw.  They knew nothing about Korea, didn't know how to get English TV or use a computer (they were an older couple).  Just imagine how boring that would be.

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Re: Bringing a spouse abroad.
« Reply #4 on: June 18, 2011, 09:35:33 PM »
I actually brought my fiance here to Korea last August and we've had a great experience thus far.  Admittedly, as was said earlier, we didn't have a lot of help getting her here since she wasn't going to teach.  We had to pay for her plane ticket and accommodations during my orientation.  But, my school has been gracious about inviting her along on all the school dinners and field trips throughout the year.  My co-teachers have taken us out several times and we've had a great time experiencing the country together.  Boredom is inevitable without a full-time job, but she's used the time to work on graduate school applications and cooking classes, among other things. 
Our situation may be unique, but I can't imagine being here without her.  She's made the experience infinitely more enjoyable.  The good times have been made better and the bad times are easier to deal with. 

Offline shmoogrin

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Re: Bringing a spouse abroad.
« Reply #5 on: June 19, 2011, 07:20:30 AM »
I also came here with my wife.  We had to pay her way, but we have had a great time in Korea, and in fact see it as our extended honeymoon.  She is writing a book and working on a business plan for when we return to Canada, so she has plenty to do to keep her busy during the day, and evenings and weekends we get to enjoy all that Korea has to offer.  If the other person did not have something substantial to do, it could be a lot more difficult though.  Just hanging out for a year?  Ugh.

Offline justanotherwaygook

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Re: Bringing a spouse abroad.
« Reply #6 on: June 19, 2011, 08:15:43 AM »
My suggestions:

1.) Don't do it.

2.) Do it IF you move somewhere where you can get a bigger (non-studio apartment).  That's more likely to happen in smaller cities/countryside.  Also, he should have lots of hobbies to keep him busy.  The catch 22 is that there's less to do in the countryside/smaller cities (not that one can't enjoy life there, they can, it's just that there's less options for most people.

I know people who have done this and one works illegally.  This is very stupid and can very well get the person deported.
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Offline southernman

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Re: Bringing a spouse abroad.
« Reply #7 on: June 19, 2011, 08:36:40 AM »
My suggestions:

I know people who have done this and one works illegally.  This is very stupid and can very well get the person deported.

I've also known people that have done this,  the 3 people working illegally started to get a bit paranoid and or very clingy.  I don't know what they were like before they came here,  but relationship wise all 3 couples parted company when they left here.

I think, as the above posters have mentioned,  if the spouse has enough interests during the day to keep them occupied and fulfilled emotionally without doing any illegal work then it shouldn't be a problem.  Korea's easily cheap enough for two people to live comfortably on one person's wage.  They may want to come cashed up though,  so they can put key money down on a decent sized apartment,  Some teachers apartments are minute,  even for one person

Offline justanotherwaygook

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Re: Bringing a spouse abroad.
« Reply #8 on: June 19, 2011, 09:10:39 AM »
Some teachers apartments are minute,  even for one person

Good point.  Even I was told I'd get a large apartment and wound up getting an apartment of 15 sq meters, including bathroom, closet, counters etc (I measured, and that's a generous amount from rounding up).  It wasn't very comfortable even though it was just me.  2 people would be nearly impossible.
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Offline naturegirl321

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Re: Bringing a spouse abroad.
« Reply #9 on: June 19, 2011, 09:27:31 AM »
Programs won't pay.  I had to foot the bills.  She should let them know that she'll be travelling with her husband.  I did and I even cover my own hsouing.  It hasn't been an issue for peopel I know.  AS LONG AS they're legally married.

I'm in the same situation.  I came here last FEb and he came in June.  I had a good and he was going to study FT via distance learning.  His classes started in Sept and he left before that and went back.  He came back again in early Feb.  Now that he's studying, it's working.

He's also setting up a business.  NOT in Korea, so it's perfectly legal and gives him something to do.

I have about 3 other friends whose husbands do the same.  One guy stays at home and play on the computer, one takes care of the baby, and one works illegally.

It CAN be done, but they should be aware that sometimes things don't work out accoridngot o plan.

We'll be here for a bit longer, due to policitcal issues back home.  I'm pregnant as well, so we're hping to stay another 4 years or so.  Money wise, I have a very good job, so that's good.

My advice: make sure the guy comes with a plan whether to study, work out, learn Korean etc.  Things are going really well for us that we're planning on having my husband go back home every year for 4 months to work on our other business.  And a one way flight back home is about $1200 and 25 hours of flying time.  BUt the money he could make would be well worth it.
« Last Edit: June 19, 2011, 09:29:23 AM by naturegirl321 »
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Offline bebuggery

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Re: Bringing a spouse abroad.
« Reply #10 on: June 20, 2011, 12:57:26 PM »
I brought my non-teacher wife, and I feel that the experience has brought us much closer together, living in such close quarters, being each other's primary social interaction due to a lack of other foreigners in town. She doesn't get bored at all being at home - maybe that's just the way she is, but it's not like you're necessarily doomed to going stir crazy, cause she's thriving. She's writing a lot, and the quality is getting better every day, so if your friend's spouse has a hobby like that (that can be done alone), they could really go far with it. And as far as English entertainment goes, if you've got an internet connection, you're set. I haven't missed a single episode of any of my favorite shows from the US, thanks to bittorrent. Heck, I still attend group meetings via Skype for a couple of charitable organizations I belong to in the US, and do whatever I can remotely: designing flyers, sending out emails, things like that.

Further, all my coworkers have taken her in and go out of their way to make sure that she isn't kept out of the loop. She comes to staff dinners and whatnot, and we have a standing arrangement to go out for drinks with a co-teacher and her husband, which I wouldn't feel comfortable doing if I weren't in a couple. Of course the company won't pay anything for a spouse - and why would they? - but after scrounging up enough for the flight over, supporting two people on an EPIK salary has been no challenge for me. The only downside is that I'm a little jealous of all her free time, but I knew what I was getting into, and she takes care of some things around the house to help make up for it. On the whole, I'd recommend it, but YMMV.

Offline shayrone3

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Re: Bringing a spouse abroad.
« Reply #11 on: June 20, 2011, 01:20:46 PM »
I wouldn't say "don't do it"  ---- it all depends on the spouse's personality and plans for when they're here.

My husband is not a teacher but he is working on an internet start-up company, something that he can do from anywhere in the world. We love our situation and it works for us.

As long as they know that they won't get their flight paid for, and as long as they have SOME kind of plan (learn Korean, keep up a hobby, etc) they should be ok.  AND they also may have to deal with finding another apartment (if the one they were given was just too ridiculously small, like ours was),

Offline boeta777

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Re: Bringing a spouse abroad.
« Reply #12 on: June 20, 2011, 01:42:00 PM »
when it gets lonely here and believe me it will then you need someone who truly understands and accepts you for yourself no strings attached!

Offline Jrong

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Re: Bringing a spouse abroad.
« Reply #13 on: June 20, 2011, 01:46:26 PM »
My non-teaching wife also came along (and our baby boy too). It'll work out great if you already have a good relationship...probably bring you closer as someone else mentioned. Just make sure you get a bigger apartment because I think anyone would go crazy stuck in a studio apartment all day long!

If you enjoy teaching and travelling, then it's definitely worth it. It all depends on personality, I feel. How creative they are and able to adapt to new situations.
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Offline happiest

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Re: Bringing a spouse abroad.
« Reply #14 on: June 20, 2011, 01:59:30 PM »
They will allow your husband or wife to live with you if they aren't teaching. I wouldn't recommend that though. I think I would go crazy without a job.

Offline doughplayorange

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Re: Bringing a spouse abroad.
« Reply #15 on: June 20, 2011, 06:06:21 PM »
hi,
I have recently landed in Korea, Before I started making arrangements to come over, I was engaged to my fiance, basically, if you get married before you come over, the government and education department recognizes you as a couple, there for your spouse may go onto you visa as your dependent. Im am currently staying with my husband in Korea, I teach in the Day, and he finishes up his studies. They wont pay for your other half to come over. But the both of you can work.

Offline justanotherwaygook

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Re: Bringing a spouse abroad.
« Reply #16 on: June 20, 2011, 08:03:58 PM »
hi,
I have recently landed in Korea, Before I started making arrangements to come over, I was engaged to my fiance, basically, if you get married before you come over, the government and education department recognizes you as a couple, there for your spouse may go onto you visa as your dependent. Im am currently staying with my husband in Korea, I teach in the Day, and he finishes up his studies. They wont pay for your other half to come over. But the both of you can work.

Both of you cannot work unless both of you have employment visas, like an E2.  If the spouse is here on a dependent visa (F3), he or she cannot work legally.
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Offline checkraisingkorea

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Re: Bringing a spouse abroad.
« Reply #17 on: June 20, 2011, 08:31:37 PM »
Is it possible to get an F-3 for a non-spouse (girlfriend)?
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Offline justanotherwaygook

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Re: Bringing a spouse abroad.
« Reply #18 on: June 20, 2011, 08:45:09 PM »
Is it possible to get an F-3 for a non-spouse (girlfriend)?

No
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Offline naturegirl321

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Re: Bringing a spouse abroad.
« Reply #19 on: June 20, 2011, 09:04:01 PM »
For those of you with spouses here with F3s, how long have you been here and how long do you plan to stay?

 I've been here a year and a half, my husband about 6 motnhs.  We plan on staying five years or until we reach that magic number for money we want to save.
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