April 24, 2017, 10:14:12 PM


INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL in SEOUL is hiring a Mathematics teacher.
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Author Topic: How to get time off for wedding?  (Read 608 times)

Offline okapifire

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How to get time off for wedding?
« on: March 20, 2017, 03:22:39 PM »
My cousin is getting married but unfortunately it's the weekend after school starts. She wants me to be a bridesmaid so it would be a huge disappointment if I didn't go. I asked my MT about taking the Monday off. She said it's ok but I want to get it officially approved before I buy a ticket. She seems unwilling to actually talk to the VP and get the approval ASAP. How should I handle this? I feel like my options are to just buy it and hope for the best, or go talk to the VP directly (with some paper translated by my Korean friend), neither of which are great. Thoughts? Other options?

Online Pennypie

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Re: How to get time off for wedding?
« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2017, 03:26:05 PM »
My cousin is getting married but unfortunately it's the weekend after school starts. She wants me to be a bridesmaid so it would be a huge disappointment if I didn't go. I asked my MT about taking the Monday off. She said it's ok but I want to get it officially approved before I buy a ticket. She seems unwilling to actually talk to the VP and get the approval ASAP. How should I handle this? I feel like my options are to just buy it and hope for the best, or go talk to the VP directly (with some paper translated by my Korean friend), neither of which are great. Thoughts? Other options?

In winter? Summer?

Honestly if this is public school you probably wont find out for aaaaageess.

The semester has only just started. Just book it, hope for the best and they'll let you or call up on the day and say your so sorry you booked a ticket to come back Sunday but you're delayed. 


If you have a good relationship it'll be fine I'm sure. They just cant give you the kind of definite confirmation that you need.
« Last Edit: March 20, 2017, 03:31:08 PM by Pennypie »

Offline bjinglee

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Re: How to get time off for wedding?
« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2017, 03:40:30 PM »
You need to go back to her and be more direct (but polite) and tell whoever you report to that you need an answer ASAP. Going over your boss's head and to the VP directly could cause issues.

If you don't care about renewing, just book it and hope for the best. If you think you want to renew, you need to play by the Korean rules. 

Offline kriztee

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Re: How to get time off for wedding?
« Reply #3 on: March 20, 2017, 03:49:50 PM »
Guessing since you wait MT you're with TALK. If it's anything like EPIK they've cracked down on people taking time off during the school year. We got a talk about how we can't take time off to go home even if our parents are in critical care and we know they're going to die in the next few days. We have to wait until someone actually dies to take our 3 days (which isn't enough to actually fly home and back but that didn't matter to them. I hope your school is more understanding but if it has to be approved by anyone in the MOE/POE you might be out of luck :/

Offline #basedcowboyshirt

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Re: How to get time off for wedding?
« Reply #4 on: March 20, 2017, 04:15:05 PM »
Yeah. There's a good chance you won't be able to make it. I missed my sister's wedding because I had work, too. It's unfortunate.

Offline Seoul cruiser

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Re: How to get time off for wedding?
« Reply #5 on: March 20, 2017, 04:25:25 PM »
Guessing since you wait MT you're with TALK. If it's anything like EPIK they've cracked down on people taking time off during the school year. We got a talk about how we can't take time off to go home even if our parents are in critical care and we know they're going to die in the next few days. We have to wait until someone actually dies to take our 3 days (which isn't enough to actually fly home and back but that didn't matter to them. I hope your school is more understanding but if it has to be approved by anyone in the MOE/POE you might be out of luck :/

And that's when you stand up and tell them to **** off. Seriously, stop acting like door mats. There is no need for your school to be understanding, you just take the time off. What is the worst thing they could do to you? Fire you? What is more important a shitty paying job, or going to see your parents. As for a wedding, meh, it's not important to go.

Offline #basedcowboyshirt

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Re: How to get time off for wedding?
« Reply #6 on: March 20, 2017, 04:27:35 PM »
Guessing since you wait MT you're with TALK. If it's anything like EPIK they've cracked down on people taking time off during the school year. We got a talk about how we can't take time off to go home even if our parents are in critical care and we know they're going to die in the next few days. We have to wait until someone actually dies to take our 3 days (which isn't enough to actually fly home and back but that didn't matter to them. I hope your school is more understanding but if it has to be approved by anyone in the MOE/POE you might be out of luck :/

And that's when you stand up and tell them to **** off. Seriously, stop acting like door mats. There is no need for your school to be understanding, you just take the time off. What is the worst thing they could do to you? Fire you? What is more important a shitty paying job, or going to see your parents. As for a wedding, meh, it's not important to go.

Obviously - no job is worth sticking around for if you have a good relationship with your parents and they're critically ill. And yeah, weddings are whatever. Like I said, I missed my sister's wedding, and everyone understood why I couldn't come. It was unfortunate, but not an overly big deal.

Offline JasonB13

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Re: How to get time off for wedding?
« Reply #7 on: March 20, 2017, 04:28:20 PM »
I would talk to your MT about it again. Be firm but polite when asking for a direct answer. Ask how it's going to be done, too.

If you're close to your MT then they might just write it off as a "Sick Leave" and won't tell your VP or Principal your plans. That's what I'm guessing she meant by saying it's ok since you'll only be missing a day. If it's more than that, it might be an issue. Just be ready to make up some classes that you've missed.

Don't go directly to the VP or go over the head of your MT though, someone mentioned earlier it could have some serious work issues.

Offline 02sanupp

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Re: How to get time off for wedding?
« Reply #8 on: March 20, 2017, 04:35:19 PM »
I think it depends on how lenient your school are. I know someone who went back to the states after 6 weeks of arriving in Korea to go to his brothers wedding...

Online tamnier

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Re: How to get time off for wedding?
« Reply #9 on: March 20, 2017, 04:35:25 PM »
They're pretty strict about it during the school year.  I wanted to take 1 day off between golden week so i could get a week not broken up and I only had ONE class that day.  My coteacher was reluctant to talk to the VP even though we have a good relationship.  Thankfully it fell on a midterm day and they gave it to me.

My advice would be to just nicely ask your coteacher to ask if you are insistent on it.  Be warned though if she is hesitant or seems unwilling to ask it will make it might come as bias when she is requesting it from the VP.  I would definitely NOT buy a ticket until you have confirmation by VP and have input the vacation into the system and got approval.

Offline kriztee

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Re: How to get time off for wedding?
« Reply #10 on: March 20, 2017, 04:46:46 PM »
Guessing since you wait MT you're with TALK. If it's anything like EPIK they've cracked down on people taking time off during the school year. We got a talk about how we can't take time off to go home even if our parents are in critical care and we know they're going to die in the next few days. We have to wait until someone actually dies to take our 3 days (which isn't enough to actually fly home and back but that didn't matter to them. I hope your school is more understanding but if it has to be approved by anyone in the MOE/POE you might be out of luck :/

And that's when you stand up and tell them to **** off. Seriously, stop acting like door mats. There is no need for your school to be understanding, you just take the time off. What is the worst thing they could do to you? Fire you? What is more important a shitty paying job, or going to see your parents. As for a wedding, meh, it's not important to go.

Obviously - no job is worth sticking around for if you have a good relationship with your parents and they're critically ill. And yeah, weddings are whatever. Like I said, I missed my sister's wedding, and everyone understood why I couldn't come. It was unfortunate, but not an overly big deal.

Yeah I doubt anyone would stick around and be okay with that situation. Most of the room sounded about ready to quit when we were told that. I'm just saying that if it's something that the POE/MOE hears about, depending on how strict they are they can tell you no. If you go anyways there are grounds to fire you. If my parents were sick I'd tell them where to shove it, and I'd go home anyways. But the reality is that your contract entitles you to days off that are within school vacation periods. If it's not in that time your school might be nice enough to not say anything but if they write it down as a vacation day if your POE or MOE is a hard-ass about stuff then it doesn't matter how nice or understanding your school is.

Offline Summer

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Re: How to get time off for wedding?
« Reply #11 on: March 20, 2017, 08:34:15 PM »
I had a similar situation. My cousin was getting married and I wanted time off but because I wanted to renew I decided not to go. I very much regretted this decision. Here are some things you may need to consider:

Do you want to renew? / Do you want to work in Korea for a long time (many years)?
- No: Go to the wedding
- Yes: Anything can happen. Funding may get cut. You may get a new VP or principal that didn't know that you took time off. You may want to switch schools yourself for a variety of reasons. The administration might suddenly not want to rehire you for whatever reason. The administration may forget about this in a month or two and it won't affect your renewal at all. I find it very rare for teachers to stay at the same school for 3 years+.

What are they going to do, fire you?
- Most likely not. You are only here on what I assume is a one year contract. It's much more expensive for them to hire someone else to replace you at that time and it'll make the school look bad.

Will they be appreciative that you missed your cousin's wedding to work?
- Most likely not. Korean's view on weddings are very different from a Westerner's view on weddings. Many Koreans begrudgingly go to a wedding, give some congratulatory money, eat at the buffet, have a little family reunion, and then leave. A lot don't even watch the actual wedding ceremony!! Adult Koreans seem to go to around 5+ weddings a year. 

In my situation, at that time i loved my school and my coworkers loved me and everything was great but I made the choice to skip my cousin's wedding. No one saw it as a sacrifice although, I considered it one since I was close with that cousin. I could have been back home seeing all my family and friends and be a part of one of the most important days in my cousin's life. Instead, I was at work wrangling some elementary school kids around trying to get them to at least learn one new sentence structure that they'll probably forget and never use again after that chapter was over. I'm sure what I taught my students on the day of my cousin's wedding made absolutely no impact on their lives and it was not a class they'll remember for years to come. Whereas I would have definitely remembered my cousin's wedding. I actually have a party favor from another cousin's wedding sitting on the shelf to the left of me right now - I've carried it across 4 countries!! 

Not long after, the administration changed (VP went to become a principal at a new school and principal retired, etc) and everything went to shit. I hated work. I left after my contract completed.

I did and still do plan to live and work in Korea for the long run and I know now that taking days off for my cousin's wedding would not have impacted my career negatively in the long term. Heck, if my VP and Principal was mad, they probably would have only held on a grudge for about a month and forgotten it.

TLDR; go to your cousin's wedding!!!
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